What women REALLY want [VIDEO]

Women really want to be treated like the individuals they are, so general lists like this are not where you will get terrific information on what women want — excepting this article, of course.

What women REALLY want [VIDEO]

Women really want to be treated like the individuals they are, so general lists like this are not where you will get terrific information on what women want — excepting this article, of course.
  • I was recently asked by a kid named Mo who was taking a survey at a car wash, what, in my opinion, I thought women really wanted.

  • Why he couldn't have asked me something easy, like how to fix Obama care or what role the United States would play in future world economics is beyond me.

  • I told him I didn't know. Without looking up from his clip board he told me that, "I don't know" wasn't an answer. He was right.

  • I was right as well: I didn't know. I was there at the car wash, the hubbub of high school statistics classes to wash dog puke out of our nice living room rug, and I was standing there with that very rug in my hands. I quickly came up with an answer he seemed to accept. At least Mo wrote it down.

  • "My wife — who is a woman — would like to have cute and cuddly dogs that are not prone to eating trash and projectile vomiting.

  • The total sum of my knowledge

  • I have nine sisters, three mothers, two daughters and, hopefully, still one wife. I actually know something concerning women, but it's miniscule and not what you think. It is this:

  • Women hate being clumped up into one category

  • Declarations such as, "Here is what women like," regardless of the author's gender, really chap their hide — if they had a hide, which I don't mean to imply.

  • This is how I know the truth of that last statement:

  • I called my sister up and mentioned, in passing, that I was writing an essay about what women want. There was a weighted pause, and a cool rush of air blew over the phone directly from Pocatello's east side. Then she said, "Suppose you first tell me what you think you know."

  • Oh, my. What had I gotten myself into? She had not been that cool in a response since I asked her why there was a dent in my avocado green Ford Pinto 30 years ago.

  • I assured her I was just kidding and told her about some cute little thing her niece had done that week to change the subject — and she pretended not to be making a voodoo doll with my name on it.

  • Later, I told my wife how my sister had responded when I told her about my essay. She laughed and said, "How perfect! Just a moment. Let me get my sisters on the line and you can regale us all."

  • I slowly backed out of the room, not blinking, showing no fear. When I felt the hard floor of the kitchen I turned and made a break for it.

  • That evening I called my father to commiserate on my bad luck, and he coughed up a lung and had to hang up the phone. I think his wife was listening on the other end.

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  • So, I am on my own when I venture an opinion on six things women want.

  • 1. Please don't clump them together

  • into a giant hunk of women-hood-tude-kind. Women are all different, just like snowflakes and cell phone plans. Some are kind and will let you make a fool of yourself, and others are humored by silly things men do in earnest because we try to please them using what we read in "Burley Man magazine."

  • 2. Many of them like running water

  • (spurting is not good enough). Also, they want to be able to turn the water off.

  • 3. Often, they appreciate us helping the kids with their homework

  • , especially if it involves salt clay or frogs.

  • 4. Paying the bills

  • is never frowned upon.

  • 5. Laundry done and folded

  • is not for amateurs. If you don’t know what you’re doing, stick to mopping the floor.

  • 6. Treating them like an individual

  • and not taking seriously any of the, “What women want,” lists is always good.

  • When it doubt, try asking them what they want, and what they think, and what they need from you. My experience is that they will tell you.

Davison Cheney attended a university to became proficient in music and theater, preparing him to be unemployed and to over-react. Check out his blog


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