love-and-relationships

The 5 crossroads every woman wants a man to cross before she seriously decides to love them

When looking for a man to give your heart to, consider waiting for someone who has gone through these five crossroads.

The 5 crossroads every woman wants a man to cross before she seriously decides to love them

When looking for a man to give your heart to, consider waiting for someone who has gone through these five crossroads.
  • Even though times have changed drastically, a man is still expected to fill certain roles in a woman's life. He is her protector, provider (not of money, but of love and comfort) and treats her like a lady. This, of course, is a very general description, but most woman want their man to go through these five crossroads before they decide to love him:

  • He has ambition

  • He may not have found the perfect job yet or hasn't completed his education, but if he has drive and ambition, that is what she wants to see. Knowing he cares about doing something with his life is unfortunately not as common as it once was. Seeing that he has a plan, goals and desires is important when considering to spend a lifetime with him.

  • He has manners

  • A man that knows how and when to use manners shows a certain maturity. He has progressed beyond farts and boogers and knows how to give a compliment, open a door, offer a hand and he knows when to leave potty humor (and all that goes with it) behind. This is an important step in a man's life. It doesn't mean he is always serious and can't belch the alphabet anymore, but rather, he knows when it is appropriate and when it is not.

  • He has a good relationship with his mom

  • A woman likes to see that a man has a healthy relationship with his mom. He loves her, respects her and treats her right, yet he doesn't overdo it. He doesn't have her do his laundry (especially if he is no longer living at home) or come over and clean his place. He is a grown man. But he still has a relationship with his mom. Seeing how he treats his mother is a good indication of how he was raised and how he will treat his wife in the future.

  • He has friends

  • It is important for a guy to have friends. Guys need guy time, and knowing your man can get his frustrations out, let off steam and get rowdy with the guys is perfectly fine. It means he will get it out of his system, so when you are with him, you can meet each other's needs in other ways. Then you can have your much needed adult conversations, foot rubs and quiet evenings at home.

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  • He has experienced heartache

  • Even though you don't want your loved ones to suffer, it is actually good for them. It builds character, teaches them to get back up and shows their determination and perseverance. It is actually good to know that a man you are considering giving your love to has already gone through some hard experiences. You know he has made it through hard times and learned all of the qualities listed above. It also means he may be more cautious about who he loves. This is good, because if he is devoting his time to you, it means he must really care for you already.

  • Love can outweigh even the biggest of flaws, but being a bit picky about who you choose to stay in love with is OK. The above qualities are all things women look for in a man, but it doesn't mean they are all 100 percent true for every person. Just because a man does not have a relationship with his mother does not mean he will be a bad husband; it just means you may have to search for other ways to learn how he'll treat you. Keep an open mind, but be mindful that your feelings matter too.

Megan Shauri graduated with a bachelors in anthropology and a masters in psychology. She is a mother of twins.

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