If you're not getting enough of this, it could strain your relationship

Marriage requires some compromise, but you probably didn't think of this.

If you're not getting enough of this, it could strain your relationship

Marriage requires some compromise, but you probably didn't think of this.
  • When you get married, you plan to compromise on many things like how many kids to have, who does what household responsibilities and whose family to visit during which holidays.

  • But one thing you maybe didn't expect to have to work out is your sleeping arrangements.

  • If your current sleeping situation is keeping you up at night, this can lead to frustration directed toward your spouse, which can lead to marital friction.

  • The bedtime battles

  • pointed out some common sleeping struggles for couples. Since we don't usually sleep in separate beds like couples used to decades ago, we need to find solutions to keep both partners happy and sleeping soundly.

  • 1. Temperature differences

  • Women tend to be colder while men are usually warmer due to different metabolic rates. This means one may prefer more blankets or a warmer thermostat while the other prefers the opposite.

  • Try this: Find a temperature in the middle that can accommodate both spouses. Or add extra blankets to one side of the bed to stay warmer. Also, for the spouse who needs it warmer, try wearing warmer pajamas and even socks to bed to lock in the heat better.

  • 2. Noise

  • While specifically mentioned white noise or music, this could also go for snoring. Some people need white, constant noise or music to sleep better. Use headphones for couples who need different sounds or none at all. But snoring? If ear plugs don't work and the snoring is really bothersome, consider having a sleep study done to find out if there's a medical reason for the snoring. Otherwise, changing position or elevating your head slightly may alleviate snoring.

  • 3. Pets and children

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  • While many pet owners love to have their furry family member join them in bed, that's not always a pleasant experience for the other spouse. Add children to the mix, and the bed becomes crowded in a hurry.

  • Instead of having extras join you in your sleeping space, consider having a pet bed nearby for cats or dogs. For children, encourage them to sleep in their own room, and if they come in during the night, allow them to make a bed on the floor or on a small couch if you have one in your room. It can be difficult for some to sleep when they don't have adequate space to move or if they feel trapped in the bed, so having children or pets near but not in bed with you is a wise compromise.

  • Getting adequate sleep is vital. A lack of sleep can lead to weight gain, depression and increased unhealthy habits like drinking extra caffeine to stay alert through the day. Not only that, but inadequate sleep can lead to irritability, which can lead to annoyance and frustration within your marriage. If your current arrangement isn't working, don't risk your relationship over it; talk to your spouse about adjustments you can make to sleep better.

Wendy is a regular contributor for and does media reviews. Website: for victims of sexual abuse. Blog: Twitter: @WendyJessen


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