5 reasons men want to marry smart women (although they don’t initially pursue them)

What attracts you to another person? Looks? Personality? Or how about intelligence?

5 reasons men want to marry smart women (although they don’t initially pursue them)

What attracts you to another person? Looks? Personality? Or how about intelligence?
  • There's a lot that goes into deciding who you want to spend the rest of your life with - looks, chemistry, how you get along and other factors, like life goals. Oh, and there's the little issue of intelligence.

  • Some studies suggest that many men tend to steer away from marrying smart women because they feel threatened. But there are five good reasons why men ought to swallow their pride and pursue a woman for her intelligence.

  • 1. It's more masculine

  • Marrying a smart woman actually shows you are comfortable with your masculinity. In a study, psychologists "questioned 105 men with a series of experiments and discovered that smart women made them feel less masculine. They found...that even though most men like the idea of dating an intelligent woman, put them in front of one and that attraction suddenly withers. Put bluntly, they feel threatened."

  • But marrying a smart woman is a smart decision! Actor George Clooney, speaking about his wife Amal (a human rights lawyer), said, "It's good to surround yourself with anyone who is smarter than you, and for me the bar's pretty low, anyway. Amal is way up there." In more ways that one, having an intelligent wife shows you're very comfortable with who you are.

  • 2. It'll make your kids smarter

  • Some genetic researchers loosely suggest children get their intelligence from their mothers. This idea comes from knowledge that the "intelligence genes" are carried in the X chromosome, and since women pass on two X chromosomes and men only pass along one, there's a greater chance that the mother's genes will be given to their child.

  • Whether it's true or not, also understand that not all intelligence comes from genes. According to one article, "Only about 40 to 60 percent of intelligence is hereditary, scientists estimate, with the rest depending on environment factors." Marrying a smart woman may mean your children live in an environment more conducive to learning.

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  • 3. Your marriage will be easier

  • You want to find a woman of similar intelligence to marry, even if that means she's a bit smarter than you. Husbands and wives need to be equal partners to each other, not only for compatibility, but for the sake of their relationship. Marrying someone with a vastly different IQ than you can put a strain on your relationship. If you can't see eye to eye most of the time, there's bound to be problems.

  • 4. You'll enjoy a varied life

  • Finding balance in a marriage is necessary, but often that balance comes because of your differences. For a life together that won't get dull, marry a woman who is smart in different areas than you.

  • According to Dr. Howard Gardner, IQ testing is far too limiting, and he instead lists several areas for broader potential in a person's "multiple intelligences" -linguistic, logical-mathematical, spatial, bodily-kinesthetic, musical, interpersonal, intrapersonal and naturalist. Dismissing someone because their area(s) of expertise are different from yours would be a shame. Think about the eye-opening conversations and experiences your life would be full of if you married a woman who was a master in several of these areas.

  • 5. Neither of you will look the same in 20 years

  • There's more to attraction than looks. Beauty fades, but intelligence lasts. The more you can appreciate your wife and love what's on the inside (not just your wife's looks), the happier you'll be. You'll be more satisfied in your marriage in the long run.

  • Marry a woman whose thoughts, ideas, feelings and emotions you're attracted to. Yes, chemistry is necessary, but most of that chemistry comes from bonding over long talks and growing together. She'll ultimately complement your life. Find someone who is intelligent and challenges you to be better.

Wendy is a regular contributor for and does media reviews. Website: for victims of sexual abuse. Blog: Twitter: @WendyJessen


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