5 things confident girls don’t do

Keep girls safe from life's pressures and dangers by nurturing their self-confidence.

5 things confident girls don’t do

Keep girls safe from life's pressures and dangers by nurturing their self-confidence.
  • If the endless temptations facing our girls is keeping you up at night, you are in good company. As hard as we try, it is so easy to be consumed by these endless fears. We long for some reassurance that what we do want to happen will, and what we don't want to happen won't!

  • If only we could protect them from bullying, peer pressure, mean girls, drugs, alcohol and other risky and dangerous situations.

  • If only we had answers ... assurances that could calm our fears, and give us a sense of peace as we watch them transition from young girl to young women.

  • If only we had something to give them that could keep them safe.

  • So is there a magic bullet? Is there a key to success that makes girls resilient to these pressures and dangers?

  • I think there is, and the answer is self-confidence.

  • According to a study conducted by the American Association of University Women, "at the age of nine a majority of girls were confident, assertive and felt positive about themselves. But by the time they reached high school, fewer than a third felt that way".

  • In just a few short years, self-confidence and positivity plummets ... but why does this statistic matter? Because when a girl has confidence:

  • 1. She doesn't look to others for her self-worth

  • She knows who she is. From her faith, her family, her community and herself, she has the validation that really matters. She knows where she belongs and she feels safe and secure there. Bullying doesn't destroy her, because other's opinions do not control her sense of self-worth.

  • 2. She doesn't try to make others happy at the expense of her own morals and standards

  • She cares about others, but she isn't about to sacrifice her beliefs to please someone else.

  • 3. She doesn't need to self-medicate with drugs, alcohol and sexual activity

  • She doesn't have holes in her life that she is trying to fill with chemical substances or risky relationships. She ignores peer pressure that tries to tell her differently.

  • 4. She doesn't feel insecure about her body

  • She embraces herself the way she is. She isn't affected by eating disorders, body distortion or obsessive behaviors, because she appreciates her body and has learned to love herself.

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  • 5. She doesn't let anything stand in the way of her future

  • She wants to succeed in life and demolishes the road blocks to that success. She knows who she is and she knows where she is going. She excels in her strengths and works hard to conquer her weaknesses.

  • We want to raise girls who have this confidence. We want to have mothers, sisters and friends who are confident and empowering, and who will in turn raise confident daughters themselves. As a parent, you can help raise girls who fit this definition by taking these easy steps:

    • Encourage her to establish a strong identity. Help her discover who she is and where she belongs.

    • Teach her the line between people pleasing and standing up for herself.

    • Help her examine her life for voids, then fill them with positive things before she looks to drugs, alcohol or other negative outlets.

    • Teach her about her it works, why each part is important, and how she can best take care of herself physically.

    • Praise her for the things she doesn't do instead of just the things she does do!

  • Also, give her a hug, and tell her once again how much she means to you (and to the world). God has a specific purpose for her unique set of talents, skills and gifts. If that isn't an instant confidence builder, I don't know what is.

  • Editor's note: This article was originally published on It has been republished here with permission.

Jill Tetherow is the founder of The Becoming Effect. She is trained in youth and family studies, prevention practices, and herbalism. She loves God, natural living, gardens, books, and youth advocacy.


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