Why quality time should be EVERY married person's love language

Your marriage depends on having the right love language.

Why quality time should be EVERY married person's love language

Your marriage depends on having the right love language.
  • Famous American poet Elizabeth Browning shared in her poem entitled Love, "I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you."

  • Wanting to do everything you can to be the best for your loving spouse is a sign of a strong relationship. If you are a better person just by being with your loving companion, than you have truly found a treasure.

  • However, growing together as a couple can't happen if you do not take time to be curious about one another. Even after years of marriage, asking questions, sharing stories, and trying new things slowly develops a greater love and understanding for your spouse. You will never know everything about your spouse....but that should excite you!

  • This means that without quality time, your marriage is no more than two people living under the same roof, eating the same food, and sleeping in the same bed.

  • The Five Love Languages

  • The love language test is based off of the famous book 'The 5 Love Languages'. It claims to know how each individual receives and/or expresses love. According to the book, you can show love in one of five ways: Touch, Words of Affirmation, Service, Gifts, or Quality Time.

  • I took the test myself and I felt that my answer was rather accurate. But I couldn't help but wonder...shouldn't quality time be everyone's love language?

  • My mother receives love through service; my dad knows this and serves her in small and simple ways. Their marriage is about as happy as it can get. Other couples have foudn their own ways to show love. Gifts can show your spouse you are thinking about them. Physical touch is also a way to express love, as are words of affirmation. While all of these love languages are helpful in marriage, quality time is the most important.

  • Marriage means quality time

  • Not everyone enjoys gifts, physical touch, words of affirmation, or service. But if you don't want quality time, doesn't that mean you don't want to be with your spouse in the first place?

  • I once heard that quality time rarely happens by chance. It's intentional, not accidental. While this may seem obvious, a deep connection is built when couples give themselves opportunities to learn, grow, and have fun together. Knowing that spending extra time together can make all the difference in the world should help you decide for yourself whether you are willing and wanting to do just that.

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  • When difficult times come, you both can look back at all the shared experiences together to remind you of why you love each other. Looking back on your memories can heal hurt feelings.

  • Spend time together

  • You may only have a few minutes in your busy lives to spend together, but use it for your advantage. Here are some ideas on how you can find more quality time to spend with your spouse:

  • 1. Schedule it out in advance.

  • 2. Unplug the Internet or TV for the day.

  • 3. Chill and listen to music together (even if you have to hide in the car).

  • 4. Read a book or magazine together. Take turns reading it aloud.

  • 5. Cook as a couple.

  • 6. Take on a hobby neither of you have ever tried.

  • 7. Dance, even if it's just for a minute.

  • 8. Include the kids on a picnic in the park.

  • 9. Don't listen to the radio in the car; just talk to each other.

  • 10. Go on a walk together around the block or in the mountains if you have more time.

  • While I know every couple is different, I do know that these strategies have worked with my own relationship. I know when I've treasured quality time with my significant other, we have gotten closer. When we focus on spending time with the people we love, our love grows stronger.

Tana is a student with a passion for words. She believes that written words can touch people in ways unimaginable. In her spare time she enjoys singing, hiking, cuddling in a fuzzy blanket, and spending time with her friends and family.


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