7 things men say when they think they're dying

Stereotypes be darned — men can really take illness to new lows.

7 things men say when they think they're dying

Stereotypes be darned — men can really take illness to new lows.
  • They've walked on the moon, scaled Mount Everest and every autumn Sunday they pummel each other over a piece of pig leather. But when confronted with the common cold, men seem to lose any shred of toughness they once possessed. Suddenly they become sniveling, sniffling and seemingly tragic bodies of germs and infection. If you've ever been - or witnessed - a sick man, you'll likely recognize any number of these all-to-common overreactions.

  • "No one has ever been this sick"

  • If you're thinking about calling the Guinness Book of Records, take a step back; your common cold or flu virus is probably not newsworthy. Just ask Medical Daily, which reported the world's three most terrifying diseases: black death, smallpox and HIV/AIDS. If you're 0 for 3, you might want to rethink making the aforementioned claim. On the other hand, if you are suffering from black death, be as dramatic as you'd like.

  • "I'm always sick"

  • Unless you recently came down with a legitimate chronic illness, you probably aren't alwayssick. In fact, if you're a man, you're most likely sick less often than your female counterpart. According to the Daily Mail, the average man experiences five cold or flu viruses per year, compared with the average woman's seven. Next time you make this claim, you may want to wait for the females to clear the room.

  • "I can't get out of bed"

  • Gentlemen, take note: any time this claim is actually true, you'll likely want to call the doctor. According to Everyday Health, colds aren't generally associated with symptoms like fevers, chest pain, trouble breathing, earaches or symptoms that seem to be worsening. If you have any of these, you're probably not suffering from just the common cold. So save the big claims for when you want your partner to call the doctor.

  • "I'm never going to get better"

  • Come on, men. If you're wandering through the dark abyss of runny noses and sinus pressure, take heart; there's a light at the end of the tunnel. While it might seem like the universe has plagued you indefinitely, all colds come to an end - though not as speedily as you'd probably like. Most colds will resolve themselves without treatment in about 14 days.

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  • "I can't move"

  • Yes, you can.

  • "I'm sicker than you"

  • Stereotypes be darned, men love a good competition. And that competitive spirit is often strong - even in the shadow of a flailing immune system. When you and your spouse or significant other are sick at the same time, you may find yourselves arguing over who will take home the top illness honors - and who gets the most coddling. Sorry, ladies, your man might actually win this one. The Huffington Post reported a study from Queen Mary University of London that found female mice had almost twice as many illness-fighting red blood cells as male mice when infected with the same virus.

  • "There's no way I can go to work"

  • If you've got a man claiming he's too sick to go to work, well, maybe you should listen to him. While men might be more dramatic about common illnesses than women, they actually take fewer sick days each year than females. ABC News reported on a study from the University of Helsinki that found women were 46 percent more likely to call in sick to work than men.

  • Drama aside, no one wants to sacrifice a few days of their life suffering from a cold or flu virus (and no friends or partners of the aforementioned sickies want to deal with illness-induced overreaction, either). Boosting your immune system naturally through Cell-IQ's Immune-IQ can help you spend less time sick (not to mention tragic). Find out more at

  • Cell-IQ promotes wellness from within and offers supplements to boost the body's immune system, creating a better, healthier you.

Kristen has a journalism degree and has experience writing in a variety of fields, including art and culture, health and fitness and financial and real estate services. Kristen has written for USA Today, SFGate and the Knot.


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