Why I’m glad marriage never ‘settled’ me down

Who says you can’t sow your wild oats with a husband by your side?

Why I’m glad marriage never ‘settled’ me down

Who says you can’t sow your wild oats with a husband by your side?
  • In the eyes of the world I was relatively young when I got married.

  • With the average age of most women getting married in the U.S. being 28 or 29, at 24 it probably seemed a little crazy that I was ready to 'settle down' and be a wife.

  • But to be honest, marriage never came across to me as 'settling down' or 'settling' for anything really.

  • I now have an amazing husband, just finished a degree in something I love, and have a baby on the way. And oh, it doesn't stop there!

  • My husband and I have many adventures and dreams we want to fulfill, along with the ones we are already accomplishing, and the best part is we get to be together on the entire ride.

  • So whoever asks why you'd want to throw your life away by having the ol' 'ball and chain' tell them that marriage doesn't tie you down; it lets you fly so high with the comfort that there is someone there encouraging you to soar.

  • Sometimes you can already be tied down by you

  • Before I was married I did a lot of things, but at the same time there was a lot more I wanted to accomplish. Sometimes I let myself and my own fear or laziness get in the way of what I wanted to achieve.

  • But my husband, the wonderful man that he is, encourages me to push myself and be the best I can be, and I do the same for him. Before him I thought my dreams were pretty attainable, but now I know that nothing, not even myself, can stop me from the things we want to achieve together.

  • 'Settle' is a mentality rather than a state of being

  • As with anything in life, you make it what you want to be.

  • So if you feel that you are settling for anything in your life; marriage, job, place where you live, maybe it's time to rethink some things anyways.

  • Always be who you want to be and make every phase in your life, especially marriage, a catalyst for growing and learning and doing things you thought you'd never do before.

  • Do what you want to do; together

  • Want to go skydiving? Travel the world? Get your dream job?

  • Go ahead! Who said marriage has to stop you from doing any of these things or more?

  • And the fun part is, your husband or wife will have things of their own they will want to do, which will broaden your own horizons and help you learn the satisfaction of helping another person live their bucket list.

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  • Marriage makes you uncomfortable in the best way possible

  • Marriage presents you with the opportunity to take you out of your comfort zone, both within your relationship and your life in general.

  • It teaches you to never be afraid to express your wants and needs, and to appreciate the wants and needs of someone you love.

  • You think that having kids is comforting? Moving to a new place for a job? Or finding a house? The answers to these questions might be a combination of yes and no, and that's what makes marriage such an adventure.

  • Together you are forced to navigate these joyous and life-changing times all the while creating something so beautiful and irreplaceable that this is the only way you can do it.

  • So no, marriage isn't settling down. Marriage is both beautiful and frightening, and presents the opportunity for you and your spouse to push yourselves to live the most fulfilling life.

Tamsyn Valentine is part of the content team at She graduated with a degree in communication with an emphasis in public relations and journalism.

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