7 ways you are ruining his trust and your relationship

The man you love may be feeling more like he’s the man you loathe.

7 ways you are ruining his trust and your relationship

The man you love may be feeling more like he’s the man you loathe.
  • Remember a time when you could not wait to see your man, and it felt that every moment you were with him was the happiest you've ever been? When every moment apart felt like an eternity?

  • Maybe you have been together a long time, or maybe you feel you have left the "honeymoon stage" of your relationship. Either way, you are now comfortable with your man, and feel like you don't have to make the same effort you used to when it comes to him.

  • You couldn't be farther away from the truth

  • There may be some habits that have begun to creep up in your relationship that could actually be ruining his trust and your relationship.

  • If you love your husband, you need to show it in both your words and your actions.

  • Here are 7 things that you may be unknowingly doing that could be destroying the most important relationship in your life:

  • 1. It's always his fault

  • The house is messy. The trash never gets taken out. Money is always tight.

  • These are normal hardships that every person faces, but for some reason you seem to think it's all his fault. He could be more helpful, he could do his part, why is he so lazy, etc., etc.

  • How would you feel if it seemed that normal everyday hardships were always your fault? Well that is how he is starting to feel. Make an effort to understand that relationships aren't 50/50 or 100/100; there will be days when you have to contribute more or days when he has to contribute more. No one should be to blame for the things that don't get done.

  • 2. Social media is your new bedmate

  • When it's time to settle in for the night, and you both finally have time to connect, out comes the phone. He tries to talk to you about his day, how work was, and things with the kids, but all you are doing is scrolling down your Instagram feed.

  • Not only are you showing him what your top priority is, but you are telling him that talking and connecting is just not as important to you as reading your best friends' tweets.

  • Put your phone down, look him in the eye, and take the time to rebuild your emotional intimacy daily.

  • 3. He always has to do it your way

  • Everyone has their own way of doing things. In reality, there is no right or wrong way, just personal preference.

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  • But it seems that lately, the way you prefer to do certain things is actually the right way, and all other methods are wrong. He tries to load the dishwasher, but it's not your way, so you get frustrated. He tries to put away the laundry and again it's not your way, so you get frustrated.

  • If you switched places with him, and he was constantly trying to micro-manage you and the way you do things, how would that make you feel?

  • Appreciate him for the effort he is putting into whatever he is doing, and then resist the urge to get frustrated or to correct.

  • 4. You've stopped making him a priority

  • Just like with your phone and social media, it is important for your man to feel that he is the top priority in your life, especially when you are the at the top of his list.

  • Kids, friends, job, or whatever else, should not be consistently and constantly filling your time to the point where the man in your life receives none of it.

  • Set aside special time dedicated to just him and him alone.

  • 5. You're not on his team

  • Life is full of tough decisions. It also filled with smaller, day-to-day ones. With you and your spouse, ideally those decisions, whether big or small, should be made together as a team.

  • If you are constantly disregarding his input and opinions on these decisions he may start to feel that you are actually on opposing teams.

  • Remember what he thinks and feels is just as important as what you think and feel, and as partners in life, you can compromise and find a middle ground. Because you are on the same team, you have the same goals.

  • 6. Conversations revolve around, "Did you get that done today?"

  • There is nothing wrong with having a "Honey do's" list for your husband, and most days I am sure he is happy to complete it.

  • But if the only conversations you have with him are about what he did and didn't get done around the house, or errands that were needed, he may start to feel more like a handyman than a husband.

  • Let him know how much you appreciate the things he was able to accomplish and leave alone the things that didn't get done. Then move on and talk about something else.

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  • 7. You always seem unhappy

  • Sometimes it's hard to be a wife, mother, and employee. You have a lot on your plate, and your days are crazy busy and most of the time you are extremely stressful.

  • When you see your husband, you are exhausted and overworked, and you let him know it. You start a fight over the tiny things that actually don't matter, so all you both want to do is go to your separate corners of the house and stew.

  • The only problem with this is that over time this may be the only side of you he sees on a consistent basis. Long-gone will be the woman who was excited to see him and greeted him with a hug and a kiss.

  • Even though you may be busy and stressed out, try to take two seconds to give your husband a smile and a kiss, and you will find it makes a world of a difference to the man you love.

Tamsyn Valentine is part of the content team at She graduated with a degree in communication with an emphasis in public relations and journalism.

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