Raising a princess: A how-to guide for tomboys

What do you do when your daughter is more girly than you?

Raising a princess: A how-to guide for tomboys

What do you do when your daughter is more girly than you?
  • Dirt. Rocks. Lake. Wrestle. Mud. Critters. Outside

  • If these words draw you in, you grew up a tomboy.

  • Pink. Sparkly. Fancy. Tiara. Tea party. Dress. Glitter

  • If these words are constantly on your daughters lips, you're raising a princess.

  • You never thought it would happen to you.

  • But it did. You. With your skinned-kneed and dirt-covered childhood, you've somehow created a princess.

  • Somehow, some minuet portion of your DNA had a sliver of diva in it and that is the part that mother nature picked to be your offspring. To say you didn't see this coming would be an understatement.

  • These waters are uncharted and all your parental navigation tools are set at a much less frilly frequency.

  • Of course it concerns you when your daughter asks for "the pink one." Of course you cringe when she insists that her name is Elsa. But this is where we are. Let's deal with it.

  • Here's some tips to lean on when you're lost:

  • Don't force her to be something she's not

  • She is who she is. And let's be real honest. You love her. Glitter and all.

  • Let her grow and discover who she is with unconditional love. It's okay to ask her to try new things and get dirty but if she's morally opposed. Don't push it. Who knows, maybe it's just a phase.

  • Teach her about real-life princesses

  • There is a lot more to being a princess than looking fabulous all the time.

  • I almost (almost) would suggest watching the Miss America Pageant with your princess … listening intently to all the good these gorgeous babes want to do for the world.

  • Let her be her stylish self

  • Haven'tyou ever been a teansie-bit amazed at those women who look magnificent all the time? The ability to dress yourself immaculately is a gift that I'm betting their mother's didn't squash when they were dancing around covered in puffy tool and plastic jewelry.

  • Consider this acceptance a gift from you, to your daughter.

  • Be proud of her

  • You've been making fun of princesses your whole life. It's fun. They're easy targets (because they're so shiny). You're good at it. It's time to stop. Sorry.

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  • The time has come to "let it go" and embrace the fact that you're a grown-up now and your daughter is a beautiful person who is going to grow up and do something incredible for the world.

  • Tea Parties are a perfect time to re-connect

  • She's engaged. She's happy you're involved. Can you think of a better time to connect with a princess? Me neither.

  • Embrace pink

  • You read that right.

  • Now I'm not saying you should go off and become a princess yourself. No. That would be weird. What I am saying is that relationships are full of compromises. If you are asking her to do things outside of her comfort zone then it is only reasonable that you also do a few things outside of yours.

  • Pink. Embrace it. She'll love you for it.

  • When all else fails … surprise her with something fancy

  • It's the darnedest thing, A small scrap of sparkly plastic beads with a sticker on it can make a princess swoon. Without fail. Day brightened, Every time. Darnedest thing.

  • And lastly, enjoy this

  • Your princess won't always want you to be such an active participant in her life. Sooner than you think, she'll be gone and you'll be aching for just one more tea party with your little princess.

  • She's a privilege. They all are.

  • Editor's note: This article was originally published on Candy House Blog. It has been republished here with permission.

Kristin Anderson is a mother, wife, social worker, writer and proponent of happiness. She believes in second chances and the power of children.


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