Why your marriage needs gratitude

Gratitude can smash negativity in your marriage.

Why your marriage needs gratitude

Gratitude can smash negativity in your marriage.
  • Is your marriage currently full of arguing, dissatisfaction, nagging, demanding, or other negative conflicts? Do you feel like divorce could be around the corner?

  • Before you throw in the towel and give up, you may want to try one simple act; not only can it save your marriage, but it can make each partner feel more loved, valued, appreciated and happy: gratitude.

  • "A key ingredient to improving couples' marriages might just be gratitude, according to new University of Georgia research....The results indicated that spousal expression of gratitude was the most consistent significant predictor of marital quality," stated UGA Today.

  • Expressing gratitude in your marriage can make all the difference. When was the last time you told your spouse "thank you" for something he/she does?

  • Showing and verbalizing appreciation to your spouse is important. If both husband and wife feel valued, needed and loved by their partner, the tendency to complain, nag and argue will naturally decrease.

  • Additionally, the article stated that "when couples are engaging in a negative conflict pattern like demand/withdrawal, expressions of gratitude and appreciation can counteract or buffer the negative effects of this type of interaction on marital stability."

  • So, even if you do have disagreements, expressing gratefulness regularly can neutralize the problems associated with conflicts.

  • What reasons do you have to thank your spouse?

  • If you've been in a negative conflict pattern for a while, seeing the good things your spouse does, or seeing the good in them can be more difficult. Take it slow.

  • As you start thanking them for the things you do see, more will follow. Not only that, but it will change both of you and more of your positive attributes will start to come out and shine.

  • Try these basic areas to express gratitude:

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  • "Thank you for..." or "I really appreciate how..."

    • .you provide for our family.

    • .you care for the kids with kindness and love.

    • .helping out around the house.

    • .cooking food for me and our family.

    • .you do so much good for neighbors/family/the community.

    • .laughing at my jokes.

    • .you take care of the finances.

    • .sticking to a budget.

    • .being a great husband/wife.

    • .taking us on a family vacation.

    • .spending time to work on our marriage.

    • .cleaning the house.

    • .doing the laundry/ironing my shirts/mending rips in clothing.

    • .taking out the trash.

    • .loving me for who I am.

    • .your hard work.

  • Or, other appreciative/positive phrases such as

    • Good job!

    • I love you.

    • I am so glad I married you.

    • You make me happy.

    • I love you for who you are.

  • There's so much negativity in the world, you shouldn't have it in your home as well. Fill your home and your spouses' ears with gratitude and positivity. Say thank you more than necessary and do it with sincerity.

  • Love and appreciation go a long way in making a marriage a lasting and happy one. This is one marriage experiment that can't go wrong. Having gratitude as a mainstay in your marriage will have a lasting impact for good. Start today.

  • What will you thank your spouse for first?

Wendy is a regular contributor for and does media reviews. Website: for victims of sexual abuse. Blog: Twitter: @WendyJessen


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