Why being a mom has made me a bad friend

Is it true you find out who your real friends are after you have kids?

Why being a mom has made me a bad friend

Is it true you find out who your real friends are after you have kids?
  • A few weeks ago, someone rather close to me vented on Facebook (because that's what we do in 2015) about someone making the loose comment, "You find out whom your real friends are when you have kids."

  • My non-parent friend's vent in a nutshell was, "Wait a minute, I didn't make the life-changing decision to have kids … YOU did. Pardon me if I don't want to be around your kids every single time we hang out. At some point throughout our friendship, I would like some time alone with you. I love your children and don't mind spoiling them with my affection, but there are times where I would like my friend's attention."

  • Now, as a parent of two, you would think my first thought would be, (hand over mouth … gasp) "You expect me to NOT bring my kids sometimes? What kind of monster are you?"

  • However, I couldn't agree with her reasoning more. In fact, I feel likeI amthe bad friend.

  • Think about it if you are a parent reading this right now … every time you're on the phone, you're constantly interrupting your friend, "Landon, get down! Sorry, go ahead."

  • "Landon, stop climbing on that. No, sorry, go ahead."

  • "Landon, where's your clothes? You still there?"

  • "Landon, I'm gonna count to 3, and where's your sister? Can I just call you back?"

  • It's the same when you go shopping or to lunch together. You're un-intentionally ignoring every thing your friend is saying because deep down you're so flustered with how your kid(s) is behaving.

  • So, to my non-parent friends, I've come up with a few reasons why I'm a bad friend and am fully aware of it. Please forgive me and know that I do still love you.

  • It's not as easy as you think to find a sitter to hang out with you

  • Not only could it cost money if you don't have amazing mothers/mother in-laws like I do, but once we finally have the opportunity to be kid-free, our time is and should be, monopolized by our spouses.

  • It's crucial in a marriage to have time away from the kids, so when that time arrives we have to jump on it.

  • Sometimes I just don't want to talk about anything

  • When I finally, by some miracle of God, get to run a few errands without the kids, the last thing I want to do is call you.

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  • Better yet, I don't even want to think!

  • I want to crank up the radio and sing my little heart out.

  • I want to order a fountain Coke and drink it all by myself.

  • I want to go to target and walk around for an hour without one child pulling everything off the racks, and one child whose legs all of a sudden don't bend while you're trying to sit them down for the 85th time.

  • I'm tired

  • When I do make the time for you, I don't want to go out. I know you think I "need it," but I don't.

  • Going out for dinner and few drinks is one thing, but I don't want to go out all night. I'm already sleep deprived and have negative thoughts about beating my children, the last thing I need is a hangover.

  • I'm aware that a friendship is not a one-way street and that it's not "all about me."

  • In fact, that's why I don't call you very much anymore. I'm ashamed of the way I've neglected you, but selfishly I don't know any other way to be right now.

  • I am a parent … and I am a bad friend.

  • Editor's note: This article was originally published on Paige Hampton's blog,Life with the Hampton's. It has been republished here with permission.

My name is Paige, and I am a stay at home wife, and a mom to two crazy kids under three. I believe that adding humor to the life of parenting is a must, or you will simply lose your mind! I am fairly new to the blogging world and truly have no clue what I’m doing, but when I’m on the computer, I tell my kids that I’m “working on something very important.” It doesn’t go over well.


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