There is one vital lesson every man needs to know: don’t fix your wife. In fact, if you try to fix her or her problems, she will just get more upset.
Try these six tips instead:
1. Lend a listening ear
Your wife doesn’t need you to solve her problems – she needs you to listen to them. Put away your phone and all other distractions. Look her in the eyes and listen. Notice her body language, because it will reveal if she’s angry, hurt or simply frustrated. And ultimately, refrain from going into problem-solving mode while you’re listening to her, or else you might miss what she’s trying to tell you.
2. Have patience
Take a deep breath while you listen. You might know the cause of her problem, but just have patience and listen without getting distracted (after all, It’s Not About the Nail). She will ask you for help when she’s ready.
3. Be understanding
First and foremost, your wife wants you to understand her feelings. Asking her questions while she’s expressing herself will show her you are doing your best to understand her. Eventually, she might ask, “What should I do?” Then, and only then, you should offer your advice.
4. Offer your support
She needs you to validate her feelings. Even if you think she’s overreacting, support her anyway. Her difficult circumstances might seem simple in your eyes, but that doesn’t mean her feelings are less important or less real. She needs to know that you will love her even when she is feeling down.
5. Smother her with hugs and kisses
Any sweet physical touch will comfort your wife and calm her down as well. These gestures are more helpful than finding a solution. It’s a simple way to express your love for her.
6. Follow up with her
Be sure to follow up with your wife later on to make sure she is doing well. Now that she’s had time to think and talk about her feelings, she might be more willing to hear your suggestions. Remember, only offer your advice after you listen to her and you understand where she’s coming from.
Talking is often a woman’s way of sorting through her thoughts and comprehending her problems. By the end of your conversation, she may figure out a solution on her own. By being patient and empathetic toward her, she will reward you with a gracious hug. Though you can’t always fix her problems, you can always help by just being there for her when she needs you.