If you’re anything like my husband and me, you’re always asking little favors from each other. There’s no problem asking your sweetheart to give you a back rub or make you some food, and you’re probably happy to return the favor.
You get so comfortable with your sweetheart that boundaries fade and you’re comfortable asking each other absolutely anything. While it’s great to be comfortable, there are certain things your spouse should never ask you to do.
1. Change your values
If your sweetheart really loves you, they’ll never ask you to change your values. Your values are an important part of who you are and you wouldn’t be the same without them.
2. Do anything you’re uncomfortable with
Whether you swore you’d never go skydiving and they’re pressuring you into it or they want to do something in the bedroom you’re not completely comfortable with, it’s never OK to put your spouse in that type of awkward situation. Know your spouse’s boundaries and respect them.
3. Distance yourself from friends and family
If your spouse has genuine concerns that one of your friends might not be the best influence on you, you should take their concerns into consideration. However, if they’re asking you to break off any relationships besides the one you two share, that’s not healthy. You need those other friendships and relationships to thrive, and your partner shouldn’t ask you to give them up.
4. Stop crying
Sometimes you just need to let your feelings out and cry. When this happens your spouse should hold you and comfort you, not dismiss your feelings and tell you to stop.
5. Lie or cover for them
You should never have to lie for your partner or cover up something they did. They should take responsibility for their own actions instead of roping you into the mess they made. It’s not your job to clean up after them.
6. Give up or change your religion
If you’re religious, it’s probably one of the most important parts of your life and no one should ask you to give it up or change your beliefs. The only person who can decide to change that aspect of your life is you.
7. Let go of hobbies and passions
Hobbies and passions are what make you unique, so don’t let anyone make you give them up. If you absolutely love to paint and it drives your spouse crazy when you do it in the kitchen, take it somewhere else but don’t quit painting. You can compromise so your hobbies don’t interfere with your relationship, but you should still get to do what you love, even once you tie the knot.
8. Choose between them and your family
Choosing between your spouse and your family is ridiculous. Even if your spouse has problems with your family, your sweetheart shouldn’t make you choose between the people you love most.
9. Give up a dream job
You just got an incredible job you’ve been working toward forever, and your spouse instantly shuts it down and says you’re fine where you’re at. It wouldn’t feel great, right? Unless the job is a horrible fit for your family and will make everyone miserable, no one should be able to take your dream away.
10. Sacrifice your happiness
Everyone deserves to be happy, and every person should strive daily to make their spouse happy. If your partner is asking you to give up your happiness, it’s not fair to you. You can both be happy without having to sacrifice everything.
Your spouse should never ask you to do any of these things, and you shouldn’t ask them to do any either. Healthy marriages include sacrifice and compromise, but respecting boundaries and not asking too much of your sweetheart is so important to an incredible marriage.