Vulnerability: Women love it when a man shows it, but men absolutely hate to. Erroneously, we tend to view vulnerability as a weakness. We feel that we should be able to handle anything that comes our way without any help. We’re strong and independent and hate to rely on others. Our feelings are our own. Our faults are only for us to know.
Men: We’ve got to stop. Here are five ways to make yourself a little more vulnerable to your woman. It’s going to be uncomfortable, but it’ll mean the world to her.
1. Ask for help
Asking for help when you need it is a strength, not a weakness. It humanizes you and will help build trust in your relationship. It’ll help your significant other feel useful and empowered.
On the flipside, if you don’tever ask for help, she’ll feel like you don’t need her. Pretty logical, right? No man is an island (even though sometimes we want to be), so open up to your wife and ask for help. Make sure it’s meaningful — this isn’t an excuse to be lazy. Sitting on the couch and asking her to help you get the remote does not count.
2. Admit mistakes
Humility and vulnerability are siblings. When you screw up, swallow your pride and admit it. Maybe you forgot to do a simple chore, or maybe something more serious happened. Showing you have flaws and trying to honestly improve is an attractive trait in anyone.
I know us guys love to be right all the time, but sometimes (and by “sometimes” I mean “oftentimes”) we’re not. Don’t get defensive when it comes to mistakes, just admit them and move on.
3. Share your feelings
Oh gosh, please no. This is every man’s worse nightmare. Nevertheless, take courage! Step out of your comfort zone and use words to tell her what you think she “already knows.” Tell her what you like about her. Tell her whyyou love her. You don’t have to publicize it to the world on social media, just tell her.
If you’re worried about a friend or something at work, include her. It’s important to her to be involved with that limited-access part of your heart.
She treasures those moments. It shows commitment and devotion. It shows her you’re willing to trust her and that you value her counsel.
4. Let her see you cry
I know I’m asking a lot, but crying is one of the all-time best ways to show vulnerability to someone. It’s uncomfortable at first, and slightly terrifying, but letting her see you that way will make her heart melt for you.
Don’t cry on purpose — no cheating. This has to happen naturally. You’re not trying to manipulate her, you’re just breaking down your walls and letting her in. You’re probably going to feel like a little boy again, but it’s guaranteed to have an overall positive effect on the strength of your relationship.
This vulnerability method is more on the romantic side. It’s similar to sharing your feelings but doesn’t require words. The next time you hug her, linger just a few moments longer than you normally do. When you look her in the eyes, stay lost in them for a little longer than usual. The next time you kiss her, make it last.
Lingering is not a substitute to sharing your feelings with words but rather an accessory to it. It shows her you’re thinking about her. You’re concentrated on that hug or that kiss. She is your world. You’re giving a little extra piece of your heart to her every time you linger, which she’ll take good care of (hopefully).
That’s why vulnerability is terrifying. It requires giving part of your very being to someone else. You hope this person will take good care of it, but they also have the ability to shatter it in an instant. It takes a brave man to trust the woman he loves with everything he is. Men, let’s be those men.