How to stay married when you feel like giving up

Here are four simple ways to rebuild any marriage.

Marriage is like a rollercoaster. Sometimes it’s up and your feel like you could live a thousand years with this person and never get sick of them. Then you have a little fight and the next thing you know, you want to give up on this person. You think life would be easier if you worked at it by yourself.

But the truth is that life is always better if you do it with someone else.

Recently a 44-year-old woman posted about her marriage of 22 years. She started off by saying “Sometimes I want to give up on this.” This shocked many people. How could she publicly say she wanted out of what looked like such a strong marriage? In her post she talked about how she’s seen married couples fall apart and the pain it caused to the couples involved and the people around them.

Sometimes I want to give up on this.

Sometimes I want to give up on the stability, the memories, the relationship built…

Posted by Playdates on Fridays by Whitney Fleming on Sunday, November 5, 2017

She continued and explained more about her own feelings of her marriage. “Sometimes I want to give up on this, but not today.” She explained how when she wants to give up, she looks back on the life she has built with her spouse. She looks through pictures and remembers that smiles came from sharing joy between them and how much pain they have overcome “only by grasping each other tightly.”

Through her marriage she has been able to overcome so much. Marriage is hard, but there are so many things you build together in a marriage – memories, children and a deep love.

She ends with, “I’m in the season of marriage that is difficult and exhausting and hard, in these pictures and in this life, there is always a new reason to fall in love with this man all over again.”

Whew, is anyone else drained from this week? My little post on marriage I wrote on Sunday certainly resonated, and I'm…

Posted by Playdates on Fridays by Whitney Fleming on Friday, November 10, 2017

The most important part of her post is when she said, “…there is always a new reason to fall in love with this man all over again.”

Many times in our marriages, we hit a low in the rollercoaster and simply think it’s easier to give up and go at life alone. Instead, we need to remember and find new reasons to fall in love all over again.

Here are four simple ways to fall in love again

  1. Remember. Remember how they swept you off your feet the first time and look for how they are trying to do it today.

  2. Touch. Sometimes when you are mad at your spouse, the last thing you want to do is touch each other. When you break down those barriers, you will be able to feel the love you have for each other. You will remember why you fell in love in the first place.

  3. Serve your spouse. Sometimes we get caught up in scoring our marriage and forget that marriage is not a 50/50 game but rather a chance to serve someone and make them feel loved. When you serve you will feel the deep love you have for them, and they will feel your love and want to express their love for you again.

  4. Laugh together. Sometimes we get so caught up in doing the day-to-day tasks that we forget to share our personality with our spouse. We forget to laugh at the little things and share the moment with each other. The easiest way to fall in love again is to laugh together.

Victor Borge once said, “Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.”

Marriage can be hard, but don’t give up! There are always simple ways to fall in love with your sweetheart again.

Christa Cutler

Christa is a part time photographer, part time writer and full time lover of life. She loves eating chocolate chip cookies and singing (but not at the same time). She has her degree in political science.