How to seek job security in marriage

What if marriage was compared to your job? Would you be promoted quickly or fired right away?

What if marriages were compared to employment?

Those wanting job security do everything morally possible to win the confidence of their employers and work hard to be indispensable to the success of their businesses. Shouldn’t the same principle apply to our marriages? If so, we would do everything we could to please our spouses, so they would see us as indispensable to the success of our marriages and their happiness.

If workers are habitually late to work, take more time for lunch than allotted, and leave work early, they will most likely lose their jobs. And how would husbands and wives feel if their spouses were thoughtlessly and habitually late and did not honor their appointments with each other.

How long would workers keep their jobs if they had to be told again and again how to do their work?

Bosses and spouses appreciate workers and companions who diligently and creatively do their part without being told or reminded.

Company loyalty is appreciated and so is loyalty in marriage. Wise employees want to make their employers look good to others. The same is true in marriage. Successful partners do not complain, criticize, or embarrass their companions; they do all they can to protect their sweethearts’ feelings and to build their esteem.

Workers who respect the company’s assets and work to maximize profits are rewarded. Couples are rewarded when family resources are used wisely and money is spent following mutually agreed upon budgets. Serious strains are put upon marriages when one partner spends money independently without the approval of the other. Would workers last long if they spent their employers’ money without prior approval?

Employers appreciate workers who work well with others and build an atmosphere of cooperation, courtesy, and good will. Employees would not keep their jobs if they got angry at their employers, argued with them, called them names, were rude, insensitive, and contentious. These same considerations apply to couples. Anger is destructive and corrosive at work and at home.

Marriages work best when partners are committed to the success of their relationships and do as much for each other as they would for their employers. Spouses who are honest and open with each other create an atmosphere of trust and confidence. While the “I Love Lucy” TV series of the 1950s was comical, it was also troublesome because nearly every episode featured Lucy or Ricky being deceitful and dishonest. Dishonesty doesn’t win friends at work or at home.

What if husbands hid golf clubs in the trunks of their cars and used them to play golf on company time? What if they lied about these extended breaks not only to their bosses but also to their wives? What if stay-at-home wives frivolously spent hours reading novels, watching TV or playing games on the internet when they should be maintaining their homes? Bosses, husbands and wives are disappointed and disgusted by deception.

What if washing machines need repairs but husbands refuse to either repair them or to call repairmen? What if wives are slow to respond to husbands’ requests for mending? If these lapses in consideration were common in the workplace, how long would they keep their jobs?

How do wives feel when they find pornography hidden in the home or see pornographic sites in their computers’ history? Unemployment usually follows if this happens at work. Wives may also consider ending their marriages if the practice does not stop.

Employees who work hard for the success of their companies secure their jobs. Husbands and wives who work hard to please one another secure their marriages. And both husbands and wives are happy and proud of their good relationships.

Editor’s note: This article was originally published on Strengthening Marriage and Family. It has been republished here with permission.

David Coombs

David Coombs has a doctorate and 42 years of experience as a marriage, family, and individual counselor. He and his wife have been married 48 years, have 8 children and a bunch of grandchildren.