The doorbell rings, and it’s not your son. It is, however, his three best friends wanting to come over and watch a movie at eleven o’ clock at night. They are loud they laugh too much, and they don’t have the same standards as your child. You don’t want to be the controlling parent and choose his friends for him, but you need a way to deal with these other kids. Here are a few ways to be calm and successfully intervene without an intervention.
Know the friends
. If you are going to judge your son or daughter’s friendship choices in any way, know their friends. That doesn’t always mean meet the parents and run a background check, but know about their situations. Some children are a little more wild when there is trouble at home. Make sure you know with whom your son or daughter is around.
2. Keep your distance
. Just because they are in your home and eating your food doesn’t mean you have to go down and hang with the crowd. Your child probably wants his or her own space, so feel free to hang back and let the night go. You don’t have to be ‘fun’ mom to deal with their friends.
. If your daughter is going out for the night, know who she will be with and where she is going. Teenagers usually start out at one location, then travel the town throughout the night to find fun. Establish a curfew, and if you are especially wary of her friends, require updates throughout the night.
Find new friends
. If your child is 15 or older, it isn’t really encouraged to set up ‘play dates’ for your son or daughter. However, if you happen to know other good girls or boys in the neighborhood and if you happen to just organize a weekend part or sleepover, no one is going to blame you. It’s alright to want to find friends that you are comfortable with, too.
. Maybe one of the reasons you dislike these teenage friends so much is because they don’t interact with you. Next time your son’s friends come over, talk to them and learn what is going on. This may contradict the keeping your distance tip, but there needs to be a good balance between the two. Find it.
It has been said that you become most like the 5 closest people you spend time with, so it is important to choose wisely. Knowing your son or daughter means knowing their friends and being supportive no matter what. If your child often complains about his or her friends, suggest a change. It is never too late to change your mind, your day, or your friends.