One of the most difficult decisions that a man faces is choosing to marry and have a family. The next biggest decision he faces is choosing whether to pack up his things and leave the home that he has built with his one true love when times are tough.
I write this article for those men who remain at home struggling with the desire to leave their families. I write with the hope that they will truly contemplate their options before leaving.
Don’t make excuses
Though you have made excuses and fought with your wife about difficult situations in the past, love truly can resolve conflict.
There are times when I want to distance myself from my husband. This is normal. Time away from each other is healthy. However, if you start to feel like your time apart is better than being together, pledge to love your wife more. Love can heal the cracks in your marriage.
Men make dozens of excuses when asked why they left their family. Loss of love, incompatibility, constant bickering, etc are all excuses. But I ask the question: Is there an obstacle too large to put aside for your loving wife and children who love and need you?
Don’t forget the commitments you made across the altar where you promised to be with your wife though the good times and in the bad times.
Take time and be sincere
Men by nature tend to be introspective; they do not easily express their feelings or their thoughts. What I suggest to you – as the husband – is to remember that it is difficult for your wife to understand what is happening to you when you do not tell her.
If you need some time to clear your mind, take it. Reflect, analyze, and understand your feelings before you share them with your wife. Distance yourself from the distractions that are pulling you away from your spouse and children.
Love is a decision
Love is a decision. A marriage cannot be stand strong solely based on the passion you had for each other years ago. As time passes, your love grows stronger based on time spent together, and trials endured as a couple. Don’t abandon ship when things get difficult. It is not impossible to recover from such trials. Remind yourself how you feel about your wife by remembering how things were when you first got married, and how great things can be if you decide to continue loving her.
You are not just leaving a house behind
Leaving your family is not like moving; it is leaving behind dreams, desires, and any hope you had with your once loving wife and children. The children who you have created need you in order to grow. Your example to them is everything. You deciding to leave impacts their lives more than you can imagine.
Seek God and take refuge in his word
The best way to achieve insight and strength is through prayer. Pray with faith and trust in God.
Choose to endure
I have met men, family, friends, and acquaintances who have either decided to leave, or have had a husband who left their family. It always brings me sadness to see everything they left behind.
Why take the happiness, companionship, and stability out of your life? Though things aren’t perfect, you can work through it. A relationship needs to be nurtured and built, not abandoned. Choose to stay, and know you have made the right choice.
If you have left your family, know that God can help your journey to forgiveness. He can help humble yourself and receive forgiveness from your family.
This article has been adapted and translated from the original
“Un hombre que abandona a su familia siempre se arrepiente,” which was published on Familias.com