A letter to the wife and mother of a failing marriage

No matter how much despair you feel, it is going to be OK.

My sweet friend, you’re crushed. You can barely pry your eyes open in the morning to a screaming baby, awake for his early a.m. feeding. The kids wake with smiles on and ready to take on the day, and you can barely look at them as they may notice the tears pouring down your cheeks. You shuffle your slippers on and pull your hair back, preparing to drop off the kids and hoping the other wives and mothers don’t notice how crushed and trampled down you are. You’ve lost your sparkle. Your motivation. Your Joy. No matter how hard you tried, your marriage is failing.

Dear sister in Christ,

Don’t lose hope. It’s OK to cry. It’s OK to feel. But know this, life will go on. In the depths of darkness, it’s hard to see the light, but it will come and brighten your path. Those other mothers may be going through the same things and are struggling to hold themselves together, just as you do. You are not alone in this. I have no idea what your particular situation is, but I do know that God knows every heartbreaking detail. Place yourself within His embrace. Cry to Him and tell Him you can’t fight this war against your marriage another day. Let Him take on the rest of the work.

Hold close to the gifts

Instead of allowing each day to bury you into a hole of hopelessness, hold close to the gifts you still have in your life. Your health, your children, your friends and family. Do the things you love and fight this war Satan has waged against your life.

“Mommy, where is Daddy?” Those tear-jerking questions your children begin to ask …

Tell them the truth. Not the hate and angered truth, but the truth that daddy and mommy are in an adult timeout, that your fighting is not OK and you are taking a rest. That sometimes mommies and daddies need rest too. Reassure your children that they will be all right, and daddy will see them soon. Keep schedules the same to the best of your ability and try not to make any final moves. Oftentimes, emotions are so high that unfortunate and regretful decisions are made during a fit of angered haste.

But, God can!

Keep your head high, and hold your hope in Christ. You can’t change your spouse, but God can. Before you sign on the dotted line to end your marriage, let God have a try at winning your husband over. I know things seem bleak. You question where you and the kids will live, how will you survive? So many overwhelming uncertainties to sort through. Just stop and take a deep breath.

Let God sort through the mess and figure things out for you. Satan’s plan is to confound you, damage you and anger you, turn you away from the light and drift you off into the shadows. Don’t allow him to cloud your mind with destruction. Take one day at a time and continue to pray that your marriage still has hope. That your husband will hear God’s whispers, feel God tugging at his heartstrings, and use the wisdom God will bestow upon him to be a Godly husband.

Editor’s note: This article was originally published on Suzanne Richardson’s website. It has been republished here with permission.

Suzanne Richardson

I am a 34-year-old SAHM of four children that range from 4 months to the age of 10 years old! I am a born again Christian and married my soul mate a little over a year ago. I am a bible reading, prayer warrior that strives to live a Godly life. I love blogging about my personal experiences whether rough patches in the road or fun success stories. I promise to be real and share our trials and tribulations in hopes to be of some encouragement to my readers … you!