Dear whom it may concern,
You’re probably thinking, I haven’t even said a word to her yet and she already doesn’t care about me. That’s where you’re wrong, a phrase I will probably repeat a few times throughout our marriage. I care about you and I will care immensely about the details that make up the wonderful human being that you are. I will care about these details when you stand in front of me wearing a black tuxedo and when you sit in front of me with wrinkled smile lines as well. But know that I am not now, nor will I ever be on a search for specifics leading up to the day I meet you. I have a basics of standards in my mind and that is enough for me, because God has shown me over and over again that most of the time our deepest desires are not exactly what we thought they would be when we finally catch a grip on them.
I don’t care if you have gained or lost ten pounds in the last year. I don’t care if you have a beard or not. I don’t care what your GPA was in college. I don’t care what color your hair is. I don’t care how many likes you get on your picture. I don’t care what kind of car you drive. I don’t care how much money you or your parents make. I don’t care how white or straight your teeth are. Because these things won’t last. Your weight, just like anyone else’s would be, will probably be fickle throughout our marriage. A beard can quickly be shaved right off and if that is one of the greatest reasons I am drawn to you, my opinion should probably not have great value to you anyway.
Your GPA in college will not be on our radar when we are seventy two, because it doesn’t matter. Your hair color is your hair color and it will stay for a while, but then it will fade into a dusty kind of white. ‘
I can not emphasize enough to you how absent my interest in your social media popularity will be, because I doubt even if you do now, that in twenty years you won’t care if your picture gets 3 likes or 300. I don’t care if you drive a brand new truck or your dad’s old Ford, because it will run down and we will indeed see our fair share of cars together. The amount of money you make currently or the amount of money your parents made in the past is not a factor of if I am attracted to you or not, because we may lose all of it, or we may make triple it. Money will change.
Lastly, your perfect and white, straight out of college, teeth will not always look this way, and that is beyond okay because I will not love you for any of these reasons. I will care about how you treat people, especially those who are not expected to be treated well. I will care that you have submitted yourself to God and live your life through His heart. I will care if you are adventurous or not, because I believe this is how we get to celebrate God’s love for us on a daily basis. I will care if you have a sense of humor and a good one, because that is something that will not fade no matter your age. I will care if you can laugh at yourself or not.
I will care how you choose to act after a hard day. I will care if you yell or if you pray. I will care if you are or are not ashamed to love me, and the rest of the world in an obvious way. I will care if you look people in the eyes when you talk to them and if you stand up to shake someone’s hand. I will care how confident in yourself you are because of Him. I will care if you are constantly looking to improve yourself and the space around you. I will care what kind of dad you are. I will care, because these are the things that don’t fade. I will care because hearts are supposed to be the center of marriage, not the bodies that carry them. I will care because the material of your soul will always overwhelm the material of your world.
See you when I see you.
Editor’s note: This article was originally published on Brooke Putney’s blog. It has been republished here with permission.