Being married isn’t always easy. By finding ways to keep the spark lit between you and your spouse, you’ll be reminded why your marriage is worth fighting for.
Here are eight ways you can keep the chemistry alive in your marriage.
Add the element of surprise
Being surprised from time to time can provide a much needed boost. This doesn’t mean whisking your wife away on a tropical vacation or shocking your husband with tickets to the Super Bowl. Little gestures can also go a long way. Try surprising your spouse with lunch at work, or sending a card in the mail to show your appreciation.
Date your spouse
Over time, married couples may not feel they need to date anymore, or they simply don’t have the time. However, it’s important for couples to spend one-on-one time together with no distractions. If you have children, put them to bed and enjoy a romantic evening watching a movie while having a dessert picnic on a comfy blanket.
Before the wedding, couples may work together to get or stay in shape to look good in their wedding dresses and tuxedos. However, after the wedding, there may not be a big incentive to impress your spouse or others. Married couples also tend to eat out more and lounge around after work instead of hitting the gym. A sure way to impress your spouse is to get back in shape, especially if you’ve put on a few extra pounds since you said “I do.” Find a local gym or buy some workout DVDs and exercise equipment to get started.
Communication between couples is crucial. Without proper communication, eventually your relationship with your spouse will start to crumble. Don’t let poor communication be the reason you and your partner have an unhappy marriage. Instead, lay everything out on the table. Talk about frustrations and share your emotions. By listening and communicating properly, you will learn your spouse’s needs and can work toward fulfilling them.
Take on a project
Working with your spouse on a project, such as refinishing a piece of furniture or remodeling a part of your home, will give you both a sense of accomplishment. The more you accomplish together, you will continue to build confidence that you can achieve anything you set your mind to – including strengthening your marriage.
Watch your language
Actions may speak louder than words, but being a victim of verbal abuse can be just as painful. Simple words or phrases we hear on a daily basis can be twisted into negativity. Other phrases, such as “It’s all your fault” and “Why did I marry you” can crumble any sturdy foundation. If you find yourself or your spouse using language that is hurtful, stop saying those words altogether.
Develop new routines
If you’re getting tired of the same daily routine, spice things up a bit by incorporating different activities. These could include weekly date nights, eating dinner as a family, going on a morning jog, or other things you both enjoy. It’s also not a bad idea to get yourself into the habit of showing your spouse you care, such as saying “I love you” on a daily basis if you don’t already and surprising your significant other every so often.
Nurture your separate selves
Having your own hobbies does not mean you and your spouse are drifting apart. In fact, developing individual interests allows for a stronger bond. Taking personal responsibility for your own well-being relieves your spouse of the pressure to “provide” happiness. So, what are you waiting for? Discover some solo activities that you know you will enjoy, such as art or cooking classes. In time, it will give you and your spouse something new to talk about, which will help to tighten your bond.