Bern Williams once said, “Sooner or later we all quote our mothers.”
We quote our mothers because they raised us. They shaped our little brains. On top of teaching us language and manners, we learned about ourselves by watching our mothers. I believe that through their example, we learn what degree of happiness we can expect for our own lives.
Those who didn’t grow up with happy mothers must fight that little voice in their heads saying things like, “You don’t deserve this.” Mothers need to work on themselves so that their children will feel worthy of happiness.
Here are eight things moms need to give up in exchange for happiness:
1. Give up comparing yourself.
You are you. You will always be you. So stop worrying about what other people think about you. It’s a waste of time. If you are being genuine to yourself, you will attract people that appreciate you.
2. Give up comparing children.
They are just kids. They’re not identical robots who are supposed to be a certain way or do a certain thing at at a certain time. Meet your children where they’re at and enjoy them. They are the most important thing you’ll ever do.
3. Give up gossiping
One hundred percent of the time the person that you are talking smack with, will talk smack about you behind your back. It’s not healthy. It’s not nice. Stop doing it.
4. Give up spending money on things you don’t need.
Allowing yourself to live simply is the greatest gift you can give yourself. You don’t need the latest and greatest. Don’t clutter your life with things you don’t love.
5. Give up toxic people.
There really are some people that are just bad for you. They might not be bad people but they make you feel bad about yourself. You don’t need them. Let them go.
6. Give up being unselfish.
It’s important to be selfish and take care of yourself. Why do you think the flight attendant tells you to put your own oxygen mask on before trying to helping your favorite child? Every role you play, you can play better if you are taking care of yourself.
7. Give up self-doubt.
Of course you have made mistakes, EVERYONE has. Carrying around guilt and self-doubt is like lugging a backpack full of rocks around everywhere you go. It’s time to give those up. You are remarkable. Anything that is placed before you, you can handle. It’s inside of you.
8. Give up the idea of perfection.
Understand that life is not about having every little thing in its place, it is a journey, it is a lesson. It’s not about perfection. Give up the idea. It doesn’t exist here.
Editor’s note: This article was originally published on Kristin Anderson’s blog, Candy House Blog. It has been republished here with permission.