Guys, this is directed to you. Maybe you’re sincerely looking for the love of your life. You long for marriage; you’d buy the ring and tux tomorrow if you just had the right girl.
But if you’re part of that other group, foot-dragging and indifferent to marriage, it’s time to man up. At the risk of sounding like your nagging aunt-why not take life’s next big step? Don’t rush into anything, but do take an active approach to getting married if any of the following describe you.
1. You want added security
In the U.S. at least, marriage secures many legal benefits for spouses. There are government benefits like Social Security, Medicare, and military benefits. There are medical benefits such as the right to make medical decisions or visit your spouse in an intensive care unit. Employment benefits, death benefits, housing benefits, consumer benefits and more are outlined here.
2. You’re kind of lonely
Do you talk to your goldfish or watch too much TV at night? Maybe nights with your parents or the guys are becoming stale. Start looking for a girl you can see yourself spending your life with. Be open to being set up by your friends, or give online dating a chance.
3. Your friends are getting married
So, your peers are pairing off and getting hitched. Maybe their wedded bliss is just the nudge you need to pursue marriage too.
4. You want to be healthier and happier
According to this article, the health benefits of being married are so substantial, one sociologist described them as being as “large as the benefit from giving up smoking.” Research finds that married men and women are more likely to be happier, live longer, be physically and mentally healthier, and recover from illness quicker. Interestingly, unmarried couples that cohabitate do not share the same health benefits, says the article.
5. You’re tired of feeling untethered
Undoubtedly, the single life has been fun. College, traveling, nights out with the guys and dating different girls are important stages of life. But now, perhaps the thought of planting roots with someone special by your side is appealing. The emotional and physical ties that marriage provides are fulfilling and will help you feel complete.
6. You’re buying grown-up furniture and checking out real estate
Maybe you’ve outgrown your parents’ basement or your bachelor pad apartment and started looking at real estate. If you foresee marriage in your near future, it’s often better to take that step before buying a home. Unmarried property owners are less likely to stick together and can encounter complications if they part ways. Marriage is a lifelong commitment with a signed contract; without the contract, financial arrangements are messy.
7. You want kids
It takes a certain level of maturity and selflessness to be a good father, and being married to your children’s mother yields many benefits for kids. Children raised in a family with married parents can expect higher academic achievement, less domestic violence, better emotional health, more time with their dad, fewer behavioral problems, and smaller likelihood of being sexually active as teens.
8. You met a girl
If you’ve met a girl you feel comfortable with and she makes you want to be better, you may have found the one. If you’ve found “the girl,” stop making excuses. Maybe you’re still in school, unemployed or underemployed, commitment phobic, or just freaked out. Don’t let these reasons impede you. Your marriage, if it feels right and you work at it, will succeed no matter under what circumstances it starts.
Be careful not to get married just because you’ve been with the same person for several years or because it’s what is expected. If you’re in doubt, end the relationship. If you believe she is the right girl, trust your feelings and take the leap.