8 attitudes that destroy the most important person in your life

You may think you're a good spouse, but these habits deteriorate your partner's happiness and love for you.

No matter how long you date, there is no way of anticipating all the stress life will throw at you as a couple.

That stress can trigger strange behaviors. Some of these behaviors hurt and are hard to forgive. Even the seemingly small things will eventually destroy your spouse.

Stop the following behaviors immediately:

1. Screaming

There is no justification for you to scream at your spouse. If you are going through something, take some time away until you are calm enough to talk it out. When you revisit the issue, calmly express what is bothering you.

2. Ignoring

Deliberately ignoring your mate when you are angry is extremely hurtful. If you are too upset to talk, let them know you’ll get back to them on that matter, but don’t silently cut them out. This can make your spouse feel worthless.

3. Insisting your spouse has to always agree

Although you share a life, bed and home, your lover still has a right to their own opinion; their opinion is as valid as yours, and their voice should weigh just as heavily in decisions as yours.

4. Assuming certain tasks are the other’s responsibility

This needs to be clear from the beginning: The both of you need to assume all of the responsibilities that come with having a house and a marriage.

5. Taking a backseat in parenting

Even if you are the only one bringing in an income, you are not “babysitting” when you are taking care of your children. The kids are just as much your children as they are your partner’s. You need to be just as involved in loving, educating, disciplining, cleaning and playing with your children as your partner is.

6. Being unfaithful

A lot has been said on this subject. You hold the solution: forgive your spouse for your disagreements and choose to love your partner every day. At one point in your life, you chose this person over all others. That decision is a continual process.

7. Lying

Just don’t. If you ever think, “I hope my spouse never finds out about this,” then stop what you are doing immediately.

8. Not making your partner a priority

Your wife or husband needs to be adored. Every person in the world has the same amount of hours in a day. Focus many of your hours on the most important thing in your life: your spouse! Take the time and money to go on a date each week.

There will always be little things in your relationship that bother both of you, but don’t let any of them be these damaging habits. Most marital problems are solved when both of you talk about the problems, work on changing them and focus on the good things the other one does.

This article has been translated and adapted from the original, “8 actitudes masculinas que destruyen a una esposa,” which was originally published on Familias.com.

Erika Otero Romero

I am a psychologist focused on working with communities, children and adolescents at risk.