In April, my husband and I will have been married for a year.
And man, it’s been the best year of my life!
For most, that means we are relatively newlyweds, and at times it can definitely feel like that.
Even though it has only been a year, at times I forget that there wasn’t a time when we weren’t married.
In reflecting on our marriage, and observing the marriages of others, I am sometimes left to wonder, is my marriage healthy?
Although this may be a loaded question, I have come to the conclusion that there are some definite signs that you are in a healthy marriage. Here are a few that I have found:
There is no filter between you and your spouse
This may sound like a bad thing, but when it comes to marriage it’s not. This means that you can be completely open and honest with your spouse, telling them your deep thoughts about your day, to sharing weird and funny YouTube videos you love.
This also means that when it comes to arguments or fights, you can be honest with your feelings and let them be honest with theirs. This no filter thing means open communication is definitely present in your relationship.
They’re your partner in crime, and your ally
Being in a healthy relationship means you know you can depend on your spouse for anything and everything. They want to go with you on adventures, but also brave visiting your parents. When his dad says something that completely angers/hurts him, you are on his side. When your sister is acting like a brat, he understands.
At the same time, and when the moment is right, they will share with you that maybe you overreacted to your sister’s comments. Or that maybe his dad didn’t mean it in that way. But you will each know when these times are appropriate and say it in a way that they still know you have their back.
You can argue
A healthy marriage means there will be disagreements. What distinguishes a healthy marriage from a not so healthy one is that these arguments don’t turn into full-blown fights where you are throwing word grenades at each other.
In a healthy marriage you can disagree, but at the same time you never make that person feel that their opinion or thoughts are not as important as yours. Also, you each know when to swallow your pride and say you are sorry, even if you may still think you are right.
You still go on dates
Even if those dates involve renting a movie and eating dinner on the couch, you still make an effort to have a night set apart for just you two. You both understand that still going on actual dates helps to keep the spark alive and connect.
You can make each other laugh
We all know that most married people have quite a few inside jokes that only they find hilarious. This is great, since being able to laugh together is a sure sign that you are in a healthy relationship. If they are one of the few people who can make you almost pee in your pants from laughing, it’s safe to assume your relationship is good to go.
You have shared responsibilities
A marriage is also a partnership, meaning you work together to make your life work. Some days he does the dishes, other days it’s you. Some days you make dinner, other days it’s him.
However you have it worked out, one sign of a healthy marriage is that you share the everyday responsibilities as well as the big ones such as paying bills and saving money, and neither one of you feel that they are carrying all the weight on only their shoulders.
You still kiss, hug, etc
Hopefully, no matter how long you have been married, you still have a desire to kiss your spouse. In fact, sometimes you don’t just kiss them; you full on make out with them!
A sign of a healthy marriage is that you are still into each other physically as well as emotionally, and you show that love with hugs, kisses, and getting down and dirty. Physical intimacy is always as important as emotional intimacy.
Marriage isn’t always all fun and games, but in the end it’s always so nice to come home to the love of your life. Knowing your marriage is on the healthy side can help you to keep it going, or motivate you and your spouse to make your relationship get better and better.