The greatest feeling in the world is when you and your partner are fully on the same page. Your conversations are engaging, the spark is strong and hot, and you feel excited every day in the relationship.
Unfortunately, this isn’t always the case. It’s normal for couples to fall into a routine after years in the relationship. You both know what to expect. It’s comfortable, but not terribly fun or interesting anymore. This can be disheartening and even painful. But you and your partner chose each other for a reason. That spark is still there; you just have to find ways to fan it.
Here are 7 ways to eradicate relationship routine:
1. Take a weekend away
This doesn’t have to be an elaborate weekend. Maybe you could go camping or to the beach. You might even get a hotel room in your own city. But take two or three days to get away from work and the day-to-day routine. Go somewhere fun and (this is important) don’t make any plans! Just get there and spend time together. You can decide what you want to do once you get there.
2. Amp up the sex
If you’re in a relationship rut, you are probably also in a sex rut. Is it always the same? Is it hard to get aroused because you know exactly what to expect? It doesn’t take much to spice sex up again. It just takes a little effort.
3. Make more of an effort
Remember when you and your partner first started dating? You got dressed up; you wore perfume, you planned thoughtful dates and surprises. Over time, it’s normal for this to become less and less of a priority. You have bills, stress, maybe kids, and a million other things taking up your attention. But try to get back to that mentality. Show your partner you want to look and be your best for them.
4. Spend time apart
You’ve heard the expression “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.” There’s a reason for that. If you do everything together, it’s easy to run out of things to talk about. After all, you already know what the other person did all day. By having your own hobbies and “me time,” you will have more things to discuss and more to share together. This time is also important to establish yourself as an individual, not just half of a whole.
5. Don’t plan everything
The next time you two are trying to plan dinner, just hop in the car and pick a restaurant as you drive. Or maybe go to the movies and pick the movie once you’re there. A little spontaneity can go a long way. Plans are a key component of being an adult. Escape them in little ways to relive the fun times before all of your responsibilities and stresses started to pile up.
6. Do something new
What have you two always wanted to do, but have never gotten around to? Do you want to learn to kayak? Ride in a hot air balloon? Take a French cooking class? Learning something new together is exciting. It will give you a chance to connect over a new hobby, and it might even be the start of a favorite bonding activity.
7. Plan a whole day for each other
This is a two way street. Choose one day this month that you will plan for your partner and a different day that they will plan for you. The day should revolve entirely around the person who is being “spoiled.” Plan a fun event, cook their favorite meal, and surprise them with their favorite sexy outfit. And take the time to plan. Planning is all part of the fun.
Slipping into a routine can seem like no big deal at first. It might feel comfortable and even somewhat nice. But over time, this routine can wreak havoc on your happiness and the spice in your relationship. Use these tips to avoid the rut or break free if you’re already in one. Remind your partner why you two chose one another. Turn that spark into a forest fire!