Most people assume when you reach adulthood, childish behavior is no longer part of your life. Unfortunately, that’s not always the case. Some people still feel the need for drama. They pull the same petty moves they did in junior high, except now they’re a bit more difficult to identify.
It’s time to cut ties with these kinds of friends. If you have a friend that does any of the following behaviors, it may be because they are using you:
1. She only calls when she needs something
You know that friend, the one that you only hear from when she needs a babysitter, a lift to the airport or to borrow your lawn mower? She’s really only there when she wants something. Of course, every friend needs a favor once in a while, but if that’s the only kind of relationship you have, you’re definitely being used.
2. She doesn’t listen
Have you told your friend eight times already that you’re allergic to dogs but she keeps bringing hers over? Does your friend never remember your birthday or the ages of your kids? Does it seem like she never remembers anything you tell her? It’s probably because she isn’t listening to you. A true friend may not have your child’s birthdates and middle names memorized, but she knows what’s important to you and tries to keep these details straight. It doesn’t take that much effort to pay attention and care enough to remember the little things.
3. Ignores you in social settings
Do you have a friend that ditches you and acts like they don’t know you whenever you are around other people? It may not seem that obvious, but think about it … When there are lots of people, this person never sits next to you or even glances your way.
She doesn’t want to be associated with you and is hiding the fact that you’re friends from other people. You deserve someone who’s there for you no matter who’s watching.
4. Cancels at the last minute
Perhaps she always has a great excuse, but if she cancels more than she shows up, it’s because you don’t matter too much to her. You are probably pretty low on her priority list, and if any tiny thing comes up she’ll drop you just as fast. Stay clear of these type of friends.
5. Your conversations are all about her
Do you find yourself constantly listening to her about her life, but can’t remember the last time she asked about you? If you find yourself only listening and never speaking, it’s probably because your friend hasn’t even thought to ask you. She’s more concerned about her in this relationship, and forgets that good friends make an effort to listen to each other.
6. Constantly disagrees
There is a difference between disagreeing with each other on occasion, and having constant arguments. Most relationships go through their ups and downs, but when someone is constantly argumentative, it can be exhausting. Unless they are on the debate team and need practice, there is no reason so be argumentative all the time.
7. Puts you down
Insults can be subtle, sometimes you don’t even realize what they said until later. In a reliable and healthy friendship, anything negative (even if they follow it up with “just kidding”) is not necessary. If they hurt your feelings and don’t seem to care, you’re not really their friend.
Being able to identify the signs that someone is using you, being mean, or putting you down will help you realize that they are actually not a good friend. Good friends are hard to come by, so when you find one, make sure you treat them how you want to be treated and that they are treating you the same in return.