Each of these things should go both ways in a marriage. But this one’s for you, wives — a list of six things your husband doesn’t like in your marriage.
1. When you constantly spend money irresponsibly
In a marriage, you are both working hard in order to create a beautiful life, together. When you are constantly spending outside of your means, it shows a lack of respect and gratitude toward your husband and the countless hours he spends working so hard to support his family. It is okay to spend on something a little pricey now and again if you have agreed on it together. But you are an adult, and can — and should — be responsible with your money.
2. When you put yourself down
Your husband loves you. He married you because it is you he wants to spend the rest of his life with. When you are always complaining about your body or the way you look, it wears on him too. He wants you to love who you are, just as he does.
3. When you put others before him
When you decided to marry him, you should have decided to always put him before anyone else. Marriage is a partnership, and as partners, you should come first to one another. When you ask for others’ advice on big decisions, confide in others first, or call family members or friends first with news, it hurts him — and your marriage. Put him first.
4. When you compare him to that other guy
Maybe your co-worker’s husband sent her flowers at work just because; maybe your friend’s husband got that big promotion he had been hoping for; or maybe your neighbor’s husband got around to cleaning his backyard quicker than yours has. But telling your husband about these things in order to try to motivate him to be “more like so-and-so” will only cause resentment and hurt.
5. When you belittle him
Your marriage is a relationship in which you and your husband both share very important roles. Constantly nagging him, speaking to him like he is a child, or putting him down — whether in private or in front of others — is unnecessary and extremely harmful to your marriage. Speak to him like an adult, with understanding and respect, as you would expect him to speak to you.
6. When you let all your stress out on him the second he walks through the door
We all have bad days. And sometimes it is easy to let all of the day’s frustrations out as soon as your husband walks in the door. But just as he doesn’t know about every trial you’ve faced throughout the day, you are unaware of the ones he has faced as well. Be kind. Ask how his day went. Let your home be a place of comfort for him to come home to. When the time is right, talk to him calmly about any difficult situations, and allow him to be a listening ear — not a punching bag.
No marriage is perfect. But always remember that you are both on the same team.