Despite your positive attitude and happy-go-lucky personality, you find yourself always getting stuck with the controlling, negative men.
You catch yourself thinking, “What could it be? What have I done to deserve this?”
This may come as a shock, but your contagious personality, unique qualities and wonderful perspective on life can attract the most toxic men.
Want me to go into more detail? Here are six behaviors of yours that surprisingly attract toxic men.
(Disclaimer: Even if your positive traits bring toxic men into your life, this does not mean you have to stop being who you are. Just be consciously aware and take protective measures.)
Great listeners are hard to find, especially with all of today’s distractions. Often when people find one, they take advantage of the opportunity to be heard.
Of course this OK, but toxic people take it a step further: They’ll talk but not listen. They’ll ignore your needs.
Give the conversation a set amount of time and be blunt about how you feel used. See what he says. Maybe he doesn’t mean to ignore your concerns, he just loves having someone in his life who cares.
2. Staying positive
Opposites attract, right? Sometimes your positive light pulls dark people in. They enjoy your smile, laugh and contagious personality.
The man who cannot get enough of your light may in fact drive the happiness out of you with his negative attitude and defensive demeanor. He may not try to bring you down; but having constant negative energy around tends to do that.
3. Showing empathy
You have the ability to draw on your own experiences and not feel sorry for people but instead feel true empathy for them.
A toxic man drains your energy by expecting you to empathize with everything he says and does.
Remember, just because a guy is toxic, doesn’t mean he is an awful jerk who seeks after nothing but a woman’s body. He may have depression or anxiety. Or maybe he had a bad childhood.
But comforting him shouldn’t be all you do in the relationship. A relationship should be more than that. To succeed, it must be more than that.
4. Being vulnerable
Perhaps a traumatic event just happened to you, causing you to allow anyone into your life who will distract your pain. This could make the next guy who walks around the corner seem appealing. This could turn into a great story, which you tell your grandchildren 40 years from now. But it’s more likely you will unintentionally turn this man toxic yourself.
If you turn him into your psychiatrist, the longer he stays in your life, the longer you will live in the past. He has become toxic.
5. Sharing goals
In order to reach your goals, you have to share your aspirations with those around you to keep you accountable. This is great! But there will be those toxic people who see this as a sign of selfishness, greed or pride.
A toxic man feels the need to tear you down in order to lift himself up. Once you get close to achieving your goal, he will be there to share words of discouragement. Your fear and doubt increase around him.
Go after your dreams and get away from these kinds of people.
6. Having no boundaries
These can be physical, emotional, mental or spiritual boundaries. By not having any boundaries, you become a weak person with no ability to stand up for yourself. You have no standards to rely on or to help you make your decisions.
Toxic men love these types of women. They feed off control, power, and an obedient companion. Don’t let this be you. Make sure to establish who you are and what you stand for so you do not become a victim of a relationship like this.
What have you done to cope with toxic people in your life? Do you let them linger there, or do you do something about it? Share your experiences below.