Marriage is no piece of cake. It requires a lot of work and compromise from both you and your spouse. It isn’t something you put a lot of effort into all at once and then expect a lifetime of bliss. In fact, it is quite the opposite.
To have a successful marriage, you must work at it every single day; however, there’s no need to overdo things, either. Here are six small things you can do daily that will keep the spark alive.
Letting your spouse know you are thinking of him throughout the day is simple, but it demonstrates a great deal. A quick phone call, a text, a Facebook message, even an email can let your spouse know that you are thinking of him and that you miss him. If your spouse has a big presentation or meeting, send him a text beforehand letting him know you believe in him. Just a quick message can help turn a terrible day around and make your sweetheart excited to come home to you.
Setting a bedtime for you and your spouse can be a difficult task, but it reaps many benefits. Set a time each night when you and your spouse go to bed together. When in bed, turn off all electronics, put away the books, snuggle and talk without any interruptions. You will be surprised at how close you become and how deep your conversations get.
When you and your spouse have different expectations, tension, stress, anger and resentment easily surface. With all the hustle and bustle of your weekly schedule, it is difficult to have your expectations met, but when one spouse doesn’t live up to the expectations of the other, there are negative consequences.
My husband and I have found that the best way to avoid letting our busy lives get in the way of our expectations is to sit down and discuss each upcoming week. Every Sunday, we review our weekly schedules and discuss certain tasks and responsibilities that need to be accomplished – along with who will handle each one. For example, I might ask my husband to arrange his schedule so he can help me carpool Tuesday morning, and he might ask me to go grocery shopping on Thursday so he has something to take to his work potluck on Friday. Knowing what expectations your spouse has for you each day will make it easier to manage your schedule and keep your relationship in harmony.
There is a lot of opposition in this world, and you and your spouse will undoubtedly face criticism and unfair judgements. These comments can come from bosses, strangers, friends and even family members. When something negative is said about your spouse, show support. We all make mistakes, and even though you may not agree 100 percent with something your spouse did, do not engage in any bashing session. Keep all negative thoughts and comments about your spouse to yourself, and discuss those feelings with your spouse – no one else.
In a healthy marriage, you and your spouse should behave like lovers, not roommates. You should want to do tasks for your spouse – without feeling burdened. When your spouse does something kind for you, you should show your appreciation and gratitude. Tell her “thank you” throughout the entire day, even for small things she does around the house or with your children. A small “thank you” can go a long way in helping both you and your spouse develop a strong desire to work as a team.
You should be your spouse’s biggest fan, and he should know that. Tell your spouse regularly that you are proud of his accomplishments, whether in work, school or even with the family. Don’t let a day go by that you don’t compliment your spouse on his talents, his accomplishments, his appearance and more. Let him know how you feel about him.