Keeping a happy home may sound like an easy endeavor. But the realities of juggling your own needs with the needs of your spouse, your kids, your job, your friends and your in-laws can prove quite complex. Just holding it all together takes both strength and finesse. So here are 6 simple rules to keep your home happy and harmonious.
1. Core control
Extended family and close friends make a great support system. But ultimately the tight knit nuclear familiar needs to have core control of the household. This means the needs of the mother, father and children come before the needs of anyone else. Even if grandparents, aunts, uncles and in-laws play an important role in the daily goings on of the home, they do not have first or final say in family matters.
2. Support system
With that being said, having this extensive network of careers around can come in handy. So long as their role is to sustain the decisions and needs of the core family, close family and friends can provide excellent support. And families with the outside assistance and lots of helping hands can actually fair better than those who go it completely alone.
3. Money matters
Money is power, and power can create imbalance. Under the right leadership, currency can promote equality and cooperation, both in society and within the marital home. But more likely than not, money matters lead to disagreements and power plays in both places. So to clear up the contention, when it comes to money in a marriage: it’s one for all. This means no matter who earns the paycheck, all money is the family’s money. And no matter who earns more, all household decisions are weighed equally between partners.
In the interest of entrepreneurial spirit, and conscious of pre-nuptial agreements and divorce laws, if a marriage does end who takes what is left up to lawyers. But while married, your lives and income are intertwined. And everything you both make goes into the pot.
4. Division of labor
This money imbalance also leads to imbalance in the division of labor in the home. There is no steadfast rule that works in all roosts, but in general clearly divided responsibilities tend to breed unhappiness in the home. But all in all, respect has the biggest effect. This means as long as the breadwinner and homemaker both feel their contribution is respected and appreciated, instead of expected and undermined, negative feelings toward their roles can be overcome. The happiest couples balance work in and out of the home between partners, regardless of income. Or partners have the freedom to choose their preferred domain instead of having it impressed upon them.
5. Basic communication
Having good communication doesn’t just mean saying how you feel; there is a way to express yourself appropriately in a happy home. Waiting until frustration dies down to broach a subject will help avoid escalation and arguments. Blaming your partner for a mishap or insulting them will inspire defensiveness. Instead, focus on how a comment or action made you feel hurt, unappreciated or unsafe to encourage a peaceful solution.
6. Positive current
Sharing positive moments is the most powerful communication tool a couple has. Try inviting your partner to share a joyful experience each day, large or small- this will create a positive current in your home. Take a walk, watch a movie, kiss or cuddle every day, and you’ll be on your way to a more stable and happier marriage.
Balance, respect, positive communication and communal spirit all work together to uphold a family. To achieve harmony, work together meeting the needs of the few while receiving support for the many.