Growing up, most of us dreamed of the day we would meet our true love. We dreamed they would pick us up in their arms, carry us away into the sunset and we’d live happily ever after. Well, anyone who has actually experienced love can tell you that is not really how it goes. There are a lot of expectations for true love, and when we experience reality, it can sometimes be disappointing. But if we stick with it and work a little, real true love can actually be better than what you imagined. Here are five myths to watch out for.
1. True love means you never fight
This is the biggest misconception with love. Even if we know it is unlikely that we will never disagree, I think a small part of us believes if we are meant to be together, then we will never have fights. This is not always the case; sure there are some couples that seem to never fight, but there are also couples who fight a lot, and yet they still love each other. Just because you have disagreements does not mean you cannot make your relationship work. Knowing the right way to argue, how to forgive, how to accept blame and how to move on are important factors for surviving those tough times. Sometimes fights can even help you grow closer as a couple. Being open to sharing your feelings is important. Knowing that even though you fight from time to time, your relationship will still endure is important for being successful.
2. True love means you will never question your choice
After you have fallen in love and believe that that person is “the one,” it can be jarring if you go through a period of doubt. Most of us believe that once we have decided that someone is right for us, we will never question that. But sometimes you run into an old flame or have a dream about someone that may stir emotions that make you wonder if you chose correctly. These are normal feelings. Most of us wonder how different our lives would be if we had chosen a different path. Do not let it eat at you; do not think because you have thoughts about someone else means the person you are with is not meant to be. Take a moment to think about the person you are with and why you are with him or her. They may have some faults, but it is the things you love about them that brought you together. Don’t throw away what you have because you think there might be something better out there.
3. True love means nothing bad will happen
A lot of people go into relationships thinking that they have finally found the one they are supposed to be with, and so nothing bad will happen — no tragedies, no accidents or illnesses. But sadly, these things do happen. Love cannot bring someone back from the dead or make someone walk again after a debilitating accident. But love can still endure if these things occur. In fact, your relationship can develop into something even more beautiful than you once had. Don’t let tragedies and difficulties stop your love for one another.
4. True love means you will never hurt each other
Most of us do not go into a relationship thinking the person we are falling in love with will say hurtful things, but this does happen. People make mistakes, trust can be broken, as can hearts; but believe it or not, we can move on from this hurt. Feelings can mend, and you can forgive the person that hurt you. There are, however, dangers to watch out for — sometimes a person repeatedly hurts someone else both emotionally and physically, and that is not a healthy relationship to be in.
5. True love means your feelings will never change
A lot of us expect that our relationships will never change; that we will always feel the same exact way we did when we first met our significant other. But this is not usually the case — and that can be a good thing. Relationships evolve over time. Our feelings change. In many cases our relationships develop to something more beautiful than we thought. It may not be flowers and sunshine all the time, but we have learned what it feels like to recover from a fight, to have someone care for us when we are sick, to have a shoulder to cry on when we go through trials and to have someone pick us up when we are feeling down. These are the moments that make a relationship “real.” These are the ways we know that someone truly loves us.
Don’t let these misconceptions taint your relationship. The most important thing to know is that relationships take work, no one is perfect and if you truly love someone you will endure to the end instead of giving up to look for something that truly does not exist.