You think your marriage is perfect and there is nothing that needs to be altered… but is that what your husband is thinking? There are many things that women typically do that deteriorate their marriage without even realizing it.
Changing these 5 – all too common – habits could be the difference between a loving relationship and a messy divorce:
1. STOP assuming he will understand your non-verbal cues
This is the one that most women try to ignore or claim they do not do, but as mentioned in practically every ‘Marriage 101’ novel known to man, communication is key to a healthy relationship. Although you may think that the expression on your face ‘says it all,’ it looks like a blank canvas to him. He is not likely going to be focused on your body language as much as the words that you say.
Ask him to help you get the kids ready for bed. Assuming he should know that you want him to without telling him is not fair to him. He cannot read your mind nor can you read his. Shying away from speaking your mind – with words – is only going to create unneeded contention.
2. STOP placing your children before your husband
Don’t stop reading because of this controversial topic. There are some great points made about both loving your children first and loving your spouse first. As the role of a parent, you are called to love, provide and protect your children no matter what. But could this be done without prioritizing your marriage?
To be the parent that a child looks up to is not determined by how many gifts they get at Christmas, but how happy and healthy the family is because of their parent’s strong and loving marriage.
If you have a blended family and do not know what your stance is on this topic, Kristie Carpenter is the author of a blog titled, “The Blended Family Mom.” She has some great experiences and ideas that may help you approach this stance in your home.
3. STOP babying your husband
I often hear women joke about how their married to a child and all I can think to myself is, “hopefully they do not treat him like one.” One of the biggest things that tear a man’s ego is lack of respect. Nobody is perfect and you are not expected to be, but if you want to bring out the best in your husband, than treating him like a man who has worth and a very important place in the family is the best place to start. If your husband wanted to be treated like a child, he would live with his mother.
4. STOP flirting with other men
You may be a very friendly individual who just likes to chat with the nice men in the breakroom…. but what would your husband think if he was standing next to you? It may be innocent, but when occasional laughter turns into lunch dates and flirty bickering, you need to get out now and reevaluate your marriage and the commitment you made to him those years ago.
There is no such thing as ‘innocent flirting.’ Occasionally you may need to go to work lunches with potential clients, or you may accidently run into a man from your past, but it is how you handle those situations that matter.
5. STOP gossiping about him
Sure you tell your girlfriends everything, but do you actually just tell them the bad, the shameful and the overall ugly things you are going through? I find that more often than not, friends tend to not be as fond of their friend’s spouse because all they hear about is the things he does wrong. If your friends tend to talk negatively about your husband, it is likely that you will start to see it as well. STOP IT! You know your husband; they do not.
It isn’t wrong to value their opinion, but be sure to have friends that respect your marriage and the commitment that you have made to your spouse. Marriage is hard and it helps to have friends who appreciate and support you.
So ladies, do you value your marriage enough to stop doing these 5 things?