Are all liars unfaithful? No. Are all cheaters liars? Yes. An unfaithful person searches for excuses that allow and justify his or her behavior toward their partner; but a cheater is mainly seeking to deceive him or herself.
Many seek to fill a void that has been generated for various reasons. They use various lies so that their behavior is not criticized; but none of those lies convinces completely. Here are some lies that you can recognize:
1. Viewing pornography is not infidelity
Sometimes this response is based on the argument that you do not know the other person in real life; but the truth is that, for the spouse of someone viewing pornography, the same hurt feelings can arise that would if it were infidelity with someone in “real” life.
2. Men are more likely to have sex with several women
Marriage is a commitment between two people who love each other; so that respect should be mutual. Involving a third person shows a lack of respect for the spouse, for marriage and for oneself. This non-exclusive behavior is common in men, but it also occurs in women frequently.
3. Out of sight, out of mind
What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her. As an old saying goes, “It is easier to catch a thief than to catch a liar.” When she discovers the lie it may be too late to salvage the marriage. Although she may not see or know what you do, the damage still occurs in the relationship.
4. Once doesn’t count
Many cheaters tell themselves the lie of, “If this happened only once, then it is not necessary to share it with my spouse.” No matter how many times, it is still infidelity.
5. It’s YOUR Fault
Many times, a cheater will blame his or her partner for their own inappropriate behavior. But in order for a relationship to truly be repaired, blaming cannot occur. A spouse who has been unfaithful must be willing to ask for sincere forgiveness, and the other must be willing to give it.
Infidelity does not necessarily mean lack of love, so it is sometimes possible to work through it. While everyone can’t forgive at the same speed, when working as a team to achieve a healthier and more honest relationship, it becomes much easier. Make no mistake — any kind of deception hurts you and the people around you. Before you act, think.
This article is a translation from the original article “Infidelidad: Las mentiras más comunes” on Familias.com.