4 ways to make a long-distance relationship work

Don't let the space between you hurt you.

Have you ever been in a relationship where everything is going great and your love for each other is building, and then the next thing you know, they are offered a job out of state? Your whole life is in the city where you two met. He moves away and you’re both stuck trying to make a long-distance relationship work.

Most people don’t believe that long-distance relationships ever work, but in reality, they will work as long as you are willing to work together.

Here are four ways to make your long-distance relationship work:

1. Plan contact

Plan how often you are going to contact each other and keep the appointments. Sometimes the hardest part of the long-distance relationship is never knowing when you are going to meet together or talk.

Lifehack says, “Remember: Less is more. It is not about spamming – you are only going to exhaust yourselves.”

Planning times to contact each other also helps you avoid feeling stuck or like you are too needy. Planning allows you both to live your lives and not feel like the relationship is a burden. Your talks become something to look forward to instead of an annoyance because you don’t want to tell them they called at a bad time.

As Anna Genevieve Louise reminds us, “It’s really essential that you and your partner have a schedule for when you’ll talk. We’re fortunate that we have so many different modes of contact these days, but texting is not enough to keep a long-distance relationship going.”

2. Think of what you are learning

“If you want to live together, you first need to learn how to live apart.” -Anonymous

When you are apart from each other, you are able to focus on who the other person is more than simply the physical benefits of being together.

According to this article, “You may never again in the course of your relationship have this much focused time and energy to spend communicating with your partner. Make the most of it. If you get to know them deeply and well, that will pay off big-time in the long run.”

3. Be creative

This is an opportunity to build the relationship in a different way. You don’t have to stick to norms and traditions. Put your thinking hat on and get creative. You can write cards, send packages, send funny pictures, read the same books (and discuss it), watch the same tv shows or play games.

Val Heartday remembered her own long-distance relationship and suggested, “We played video games every day, like Scrabble, Uno, or Battleship. It meant we could have fun together without necessarily being able to talk or see each other.”

4. Avoid “dangerous situations”

You want it to work, so don’t tempt yourself with other relationships that might seem easier at the time. Stay honest with each other about who you are with and what you are doing. You don’t have to feel trapped or that you have to “report” on every little detail, but if you keep each other updated about what is happening in your lives, then your honesty will keep the relationship deep, satisfying and alive.

Long-distance relationships can be hard, but if you are willing to work, the distance is actually an opportunity to experience the relationship in a different way and deepen it in ways you didn’t think were possible.

Christa Cutler

Christa is a part time photographer, part time writer and full time lover of life. She loves eating chocolate chip cookies and singing (but not at the same time). She has her degree in political science.