After professionally, religiously and personally working with dozens of couples, I’ve compiled some differences between men and women. Oftentimes these misunderstandings are the things that cause confusing feelings or roles within a marriage.
Though men don’t always want to talk, there are some things the men in our lives would like us to know.
1. Men are romantic
Men say “I love you” with their actions. When you need him to help you clean the yard or repair a leaky sink faucet, he will do it because he loves you.
Even when he is not gazing lovingly into your eyes, or seems distracted by something else, he is listening. Your man wants to solve your problems to show that he loves you. When he seems silent and distracted, he is probably thinking of ways to solve your problems.
To strengthen a relationship, men will want to do things together as a couple, such as games or sporting activities. Spending time “playing” together is one way that he expresses his love for you.
2. Men are not perfect
Though it may be news to you, your husband does not own a crystal ball. If you want him to understand something, you will need to speak clearly and directly. He can’t be expected to decipher sadness in your eyes; you need to explain to him what is wrong.
Men learn from the examples of their parents and the people who influenced them while growing up. There may be wonderful men in his life that provide great examples of what it means to be a good husband and father, or he may not have had that kind of guidance. Be sure to observe and understand the examples that are the mirrors in your husband’s life.
Women are not perfect either, so don’t forget to appreciate the way he tries.
3. Men want to make you happy
Be sure to help your husband make a loving connection with you. With the stress of work, having a family, financial strains and other pressures, it’s important that he has a supportive wife by his side. If you are being cold and distant, it’s difficult for your husband to help you fulfill that role and for him to make sure you are happy.
Intimacy in a marriage is for both husband and wife. Having an honest and open relationship about this topic can help you have a strong physical and emotional connection in your marriage.
4. Men also want to be happy
Men love to see their wives happy. But men also want to be happy. If he does not feel loved or appreciated, it can cause serious separation issues in your marriage. He may resort to spending more time at work, or fixate more on hobbies. Some men may cheat, or indulge in addictions to cope with this loneliness and unhappiness. Men will invest more in a relationship if they see that it is an equal partnership.
Just like women, men require some alone time. Activities like mechanics, sports, gardening, etc. should be encouraged. Appropriate time spent on hobbies and interests is healthy for the relationship as a whole.
Men and women are different, but that’s what makes marriages strong. As his wife, you should work to help your husband be better each and every day. Without this support, you are just working to take care of yourself independently. Building a life together takes understanding from both sides.
This article is a translation and adaption of the original article, “4 segredos para finalmente enteder os homens.”