I can hardly believe it but I have been a mom for almost a decade. It seems like my daughter was just born but somehow she will be ten in October. The years just fly by. She is a pretty amazing kid and I’m quite proud of the job her dad and I have done raising her. She’s an amazing girl but that doesn’t mean there aren’t some parenting mistakes that I’ve made along the way.
4 parenting mistakes that I’ve made
1. Parenting out of guilt
This started after I had my stroke when my daughter was 3. I felt so bad with how much her life was disrupted and the pain she went through that I started letting her get away with things and giving her things out of guilt.
Going to therapy to deal with my stroke helped me realize what I was doing and that it wasn’t helping my daughter to parent her out of guilt. There are lots of reasons parents give into their children because of guilt. Parents who are going through a divorce or separation often do this. Also, it’s quite common anytime parents are going through a major life change like moving, new schools and new siblings.
2. Not following through on chores
Here is an example of a parenting mistake that I’ve made since my daughter was a toddler and, to be honest, am still making today. I’m not good with following through especially when it comes to making her do her chores. It’s an area that is constantly being worked on and we are trying to get better at all the time.
She has chores that are age appropriate and she knows how to do them. I just always forget to have her do them. I’m great with making sure she picks up her clothes and shoes and puts away dishes or trash. It’s the other chores that I’m trying to get better at remembering.
3. Too much electronics
This is another mistake I’m still guilty of but am trying to slowly change for the better. We let my daughter have too much screen time. I know this is something many parents are guilty of doing as well. It is still something I’m not proud of and am trying to cut back on in her life. Between TV, video games, the iPad and playing with our phones, it really adds up to a lot of screen time.
We are real careful with monitoring what she watches and has access to online. There are things that aren’t appropriate for her to see at age 9, so I’m very aware of what she is watching. I just want to cut back on how much she’s watching.
4. Modeling negative behaviors
I think the main reason for mistakes 2 and 3 is that her dad and I are not the best examples of getting things done around the house and having too much screen time.
I’ve realized that a lot of her behaviors are because she has watched us do the same thing. So I’ve been trying to be more aware of my own behaviors so that I can be a better example to her.
How I feel about the parenting mistakes that I’ve made
I think that in reality, the parenting mistakes that I’ve made have been pretty minor. I know that there are more parenting mistakes that I’ve made and that I will make more in the years ahead. We all do things wrong as parents and none of us will ever be the perfect parent.
As parents, we just need to do our best to raise our kids and to do more right then we do wrong. I think that if we do that then all of our kids will end up being all right. So, if you’ve made mistakes as a parent, know that you aren’t alone. We all have but, for the most part, nothing you or I have done is permanent. Just love your kid and try to keep doing better as a parent. That’s all we can really do.
Editor’s note: This article was originally published on A Fresh Start on a Budget. It has been modified and republished here with permission.