3 things my mother taught me about marriage

Here are three pieces of marital advice that have worked for my mother, myself and hopefully you.

When it comes to marriage advice, there’s certainly no shortage in the world. Every time you turn around, it’s easy to find yet another blog sharing helpful tips and tricks certain to make your marriage better.

In a way, this is a good thing, since not all marriage advice works for all couples and most of us need all of the help we can get! Unfortunately, however, it can make it a little hard to know just who to trust. After all, just because a friend or blogger gives you good advice doesn’t mean that they aren’t having relationship problems behind closed doors.

When it comes to close family, however, relationship problems are much more difficult to hide. That’s why, when I need good relationship advice, one person I know I can always trust is my mom. After all, I’ve watched their marriage for nearly thirty years now, so I can say with confidence, these are marriage tricks that WORK.

At least, they did for her and they do for me, and I bet they will for you too.

1. Don’t Quit, Even When It’s Hard

Like all couples, my parents had their fair share of battles and struggles. There were good times and there were not-so-good times. As a kid, I didn’t understand it. I wished they would just divorce and call it a day. But you know what? They didn’t. They clung to each other NO MATTER WHAT, and now they are happier than ever.

Now, when my husband and I have our disagreements, leaving simply isn’t an option for us. I’ve seen what can happen when you stick it out and that’s the kind of marriage I want too, even if I have to fight to get there. And I want my children to learn the same lesson from me.

My husband is worth it. Our marriage is worth it. For better or worse. Whatever it takes.

2. Love Your Spouse the Way They Need to Be Loved

If you’re familiar with the love languages concept, you know that not all people feel loved in the same way. For example, some people express and receive love through physical touch, others through gifts, others through acts of service … Knowing your spouse’s love language is a great way to make sure that you are really communicating your love well, because if you’re speaking two different languages, it isn’t going to get through!

For example, one funny habit my parents had was to always GUSH over how wonderful the other was, no matter what the other was doing. Dinner wasn’t just good; it was the best thing ever. And a simple “thank you” could never compete with telling the other how they were the best husband or wife in the world.

It’s silly, and I’m sure most people would think it is completely unnecessary, but I love it! And now it’s a part of our family too. Yes, it was a little awkward to help my husband realize one simple compliment wasn’t enough, but thankfully he didn’t think I was completely nuts, and now it’s a fun way we love on each other.

What ways does your spouse best receive love (even if they are silly)? How can you make showing your spouse love in these ways a bigger priority?

3. Your Happiness Should Come from God, Not Your Spouse

Your husband isn’t supposed to MAKE you happy. That’s not his job. Nor is it his job to complete you, fulfill you, etc., etc.

Your husband is human. He will make mistakes, he will disappoint you and he will let you down. If you are counting on your husband to always provide everything you need, you WILL be disappointed. There’s only one person who can truly complete us, make us happy and heal all of our hurts, and that’s God.

Now, this isn’t to sound depressing. Husbands are wonderful and God can use them in mighty ways. But it’s vitally important to understand that we need to depend on God first and foremost, and then enjoy our husbands as much as we can. So the times he comes through – that’s great! But the times he doesn’t (and there will be those times), that’s okay too. Nobody’s perfect, and we’re all in this together.

Editor’s note: This article was originally published on Equipping Godly Women. It has been republished here with permission.


A devoted Christian, wife and mother, Brittany loves helping other women grow in these roles as well. When she isn’t busy taking care of her growing family, you can find her at Equipping Godly Women, where she regularly shares tips, tricks and encouragement to help you be the amazing woman God created you to be. Brittany also has a thriving online community on Facebook as well.