There are certain relationships that are dangerous and unhealthy from the get-go. We’ve all heard that 40-50 percent of marriages end in divorce, and huge contributing factors to that are things that were already happening within the relationship throughout courtship and dating.
Here are 15 things you should not ignore:
1. He gets jealous super easy
Some girls think jealousy is cute; but most of the time, it’s not. If you can’t have any friends of the opposite sex or go to work lunch outings without your boyfriend “checking in” or getting upset, you have some evaluating to do.
2. He tells you what to wear or how to do your makeup
Telling you how you should dress or look, without you asking his opinion, is unnecessary. He needs to love you for who you are. If he tells you not to wear makeup, to wear less eyeliner, or to wear a different kind of style, beware.
3. He gets angry easily
Fights are normal in a relationship, but when you tend to feel like you’re walking on eggshells just so he won’t explode, it is NOT normal. You should never be disrespected, called names, or yelled at.
4. He is uninterested in what you do/your hobbies
All of us are different, and oftentimes opposites attract. But even if he doesn’t like to read or garden or jog, he should take interest that you do, be open to learning a bit more about it, and at least be happy to listen to you talk about it. That’s what partners do — they support one another.
5. He doesn’t get along with your family or best friends
This is a big one. The ones closest to you know you better than anyone else, and they are also the best reflection of who you are. If your boyfriend and those you love the most are constantly clashing and your family and friends come to you with their concerns, listen. Don’t be so blinded by love that you push aside those who care about you most.
6. He doesn’t have any friends
Your boyfriend probably wants to spend the most time with YOU, but it’s always good to be with someone who has a social circle. Someone who has lots of close family members and friends is someone who opens himself up, has mentors and examples, and values relationships.
7. He embarrasses you in public
Are you the butt of every joke? Does he insult you or demean you in front of his friends? Don’t let it happen. Some girls think that this is the guy’s way of flirting or being funny, but if it makes you feel bad or uncomfortable, then it’s NOT cute.
8. He ostracizes you from your family
Your relationships with your family and friends shouldn’t change just because you’re in a relationship. If he tries to control who you talk to, who you spend time with, and who you love then he shouldn’t be in your life.
9. He has an addiction to pornography
Although some will disagree with this, pornography is a terrible addiction that physically alters the brain’s chemistry. A man who is addicted to pornography is more apt to disrespect or abuse his significant other, cheat, or objectify women. With that said, this does not include those who recognize the problem and have taken the steps to recover.
10. He is a liar
Don’t stand for lying. Casual lying leads to a world of hurt. In a relationship you need directness, honesty and an open line of communication.
11. He disrespects his mother or sisters
A man who disrespects his mother will one day disrespect you. Pay attention to the way he handles relationships with his sisters, his mother and the other women in his life. If it makes you uncomfortable to see the way he talks to them, it’s a red flag.
12. He disrespects the waiter
Pay attention to the way your boyfriend treats others, even strangers. If the waiter forgot to bring the lemonade, does he make a snide remark or smile and say it’s OK? These little details matter.
13. Verbal or physical abuse
Don’t stand for it. Ever. If you are in a relationship where you are abused in any way, get help now. Abuse isn’t always bruises and cut lips. It can be emotional or verbal threats or words that can scar even deeper. Get out.
14. Unresolved past relationships
Past relationships tell a lot about a person. Has he owned up to his mistakes in the past and taken responsibility for things? Does he have those relationships completely resolved and put away or does he harbor terrible feelings still? A mark of maturity is when a man can recognize the good he took from a relationship so he can put it towards the current one.
15. You have a gut feeling
The biggest red flag out of almost everything is your gut feeling. Trust it, because your heart will let you know on a subconscious level if something is off or doesn’t feel right. And don’t be afraid to get out and continue the search.
You are worth it.