You’ve probably been warned of the evils of lying your entire life. Well, did you know there are two types of lies? Type one, Satan’s offspring, is a deliberate untruth with the intent to deceive. Type two? It’s defined as a tiny “harmless” untruth that aims to maintain harmony in your marriage. OK, don’t check with Webster on these definitions. But do you find yourself falling victim to that second type? If so, some of these probably sound pretty familiar.
Here are 13 lies wives tell their husbands:
No, there are no onions in this meal
… just kidding, there are. The recipe calls for it. You’ve been eating onions for the past 10 years and you didn’t even know it!
It was on sale
… somewhere; just not at the store I happened to go to.
Yes, you still look the same
… as you did yesterday.
Yes, I turned off my hair straightener
… I think.
That scratch was already on the bumper
… I put it there yesterday and you’re asking about it today.
I have a headache
… and the only thing that will make it better is a Diet Coke and Netflix.
No, I don’t mind if you go with your friends
… if you don’t mind sleeping on the couch.
No, this isn’t a new shirt
… it’s at least six months old by now. I mean, once it was made it had to be shipped to the store, put on display, and THEN I bought it.
It’s your turn; I changed the last dirty diaper
… as far as you know. You’ve been too distracted by your basketball game to notice who did.
I’ll be ready in 15 minutes
… multiplied by three.
It doesn’t matter
… to you. It matters A LOT to me.
You don’t have to buy me anything
… unless you want to break my heart a little.
This tastes great
… it tastes like dog food, but it is so dang cute that you tried.
Be especially careful not to confuse type one lies with type two. But also remember — lying is never really the answer.