Mother’s Day is here again. You can scarcely miss it with the way it’s advertised everywhere you look. But what if all those cards in the store and commercials on TV don’t give you warm feelings but instead fill you with dread? Well, then you’ve come to the right place.
Mother’s Day and I don’t get along. From the years of longing to be a mother, going through infertility, and then losing my own mother shortly after finally becoming a mom myself, I have ample reason to dislike this holiday. And I know I’m not alone. There are plenty of women who spend this day crying or wishing they could just block it out until it’s over.
You probably clicked on this article because you either share some of the same feelings, or you love Mother’s Day and want to know why some people hate it. Either way, since I’ve got you, let’s talk about some of the reasons you (or someone you know) may not enjoy celebrating Mother’s Day or may downright despise it.
You may desperately want to be a mother but for one reason or another you don’t have children.
Maybe you’ve lost your own mother (or a grandmother), and you don’t want to be reminded that you don’t get to call, visit, or send a card
Perhaps you have lost a child, and even if you have other children, Mother’s Day is a painful reminder about the one who used to call you “mom.”
It may be that you don’t have a good relationship with your mother.
You may be a single mother who knows you’re not going to get any sort of break on Mother’s Day anyway.
Maybe you have a child or children who have gone astray, and you won’t be getting a call, a visit, or a card.
Perhaps you are a mother who feels like a failure and doesn’t want anyone to celebrate you.
You might be the kind of person who doesn’t like being forced into showing affection just because a holiday tells you to.
You may be a woman who has no desire to be a mother and this holiday is just another chance for everyone to bug you about it.
Or maybe you are a perfectly happy mother, but you don’t like the way that Mother’s Day can be painful to others.
I’m sure there are more, but that’s hopefully enough reasons to help you realize that there are a lot of women out there with these feelings. And guess what? There’s nothing wrong with disliking Mother’s Day. I’m here to tell you that it’s fine to hate this holiday if you want to. But if there’s something you want to do about those feelings, here are a couple of ideas.
Ignore it until it goes away
No matter what the world tries to tell you, you don’t have to celebrate Mother’s Day. If you don’t want to be reminded then stay off the Internet; turn off your phone, your TV, and your radio; don’t go visit anyone; or don’t even leave your house if you don’t want to. It’s only one day and tomorrow it won’t be Mother’s Day anymore. Ok, it might last for a few days before and after, but you get the picture. Spend your time doing something you really want to do instead of being unhappy.
Forget about yourself and serve
You’ve probably heard before that a great way to make yourself feel better is to look outside yourself and serve someone else. This Mother’s Day, go find someone whose day you can brighten. For example, if you don’t have a mother to visit, go visit a mother who doesn’t get visitors. If you don’t have children, go help a single mother so she can have a break. And the list could go on. Even if you don’t want to think about Mother’s Day at all, you can do service that is totally non-mom related. It’s amazing how quickly you can forget about yourself when you focus on another.
Commiserate with others
Or if you don’t want to forget your pain, you can do the complete opposite. You now know there are tons of other women (and men) who don’t like Mother’s Day. Get together and have a pity party. Talk about why you don’t like it and listen to other people’s stories. There’s nothing wrong with sharing your feelings and commiserating together. Just make sure you don’t throw your party in the middle of people who are trying to enjoy the holiday. They deserve to be happy too!
And for that person who loves Mother’s Day
If you feel like celebrating, then please do. Call you mom, send her a card, let your kids pamper you and give you gifts. Don’t let us stop you from being happy! But please don’t look down on the person who has decided not she doesn’t like Mother’s Day or who would prefer to ignore it. And don’t blame us for not wanting to celebrate with you. We have a good reason.